Page 80 of Mercy & Malice

Cain shakes his head. “That’s the bullshit your father filled your head with. We’re all on the same fucking team, Micah.”

I know they have my back. I know they want me to win even if we all comprehend that my stupid ass shouldn’t even be in the ring. But I can’t seem to shake the gremlin on my shoulder. And Cain is right; it’s the seed my father planted there when he first started driving the wedge between Luca and me. Everything was a battle, a contest, a challenge to see who the better twin was. And Luca was always better. Even the last time I stepped into the competition, Luca won. I walked away a loser. And my father told me so every chance he got. How else could he manipulate and control me if I wasn’t questioning my worth?

“I have to get ready.” I turn and walk towards the abandoned school. The only person I want to conquer isn’t here. Instead, I’ll settle on punching a faceless opponent while damaging myself.

44

BROOKE

I’m sitting in the driver’s seat of my car, trying to avoid looking towards the old Belgrave building. The parking lot is still full, but it’s not from the game spectators, it’s for the fight. Why does he have to do it?

Every morsel in my soul is screaming for me to run and get out of here immediately. But there’s the tiniest fleck that won’t let me drive away. I spot Ivy walking over, so I unlock the doors.

She opens the passenger side then drops into the seat with an exasperated puff. “So, what do you want to do?”

“Yell at Micah.” It won’t help. Screaming and arguing is the last thing I want to do. I just can’t come up with any better alternatives.

“We can do that.” She waits a minute before she asks, “Do you want to go to the Tomb, or do you want to leave?”

“I don’t know.” I drop my head against the steering wheel. “Why does he have to be so stubborn? He’s always participated in pointless matches. But it’s different now. There’s no need to punch a guy just for funsies. And yet, there he goes, getting ready to enter the ring with another moron.”

“At least he’ll win that match. But we can go to the fight, or we can go find something else to do. Choice is yours.”

Is it? Because I still feel like too many choices are being taken away from me. “My mom is marrying Donald Montclair.”

She has a somber tone as she says, “Luca mentioned it. He’s not very happy about it.”

“Yeah, I’m on Team WTF and not just because Micah will be my stepbrother. We already got the no-sleeping-together talk.” I cringe remembering the conversation even more than when it happened. “I knew there was more to them than just a friendly acquaintance, but she sold the stay at the Montclair house as a safe place to get away from my father. And now she’s jumping into a marriage with another man before she’s officially divorced from my dad.” Granted, that will be a little more complicated since the death-do-us-part has been achieved but can’t be disclosed. Though, it doesn’t matter. There’s one thing bothering me most. “I played Mercy to get us away from him. I thought it was the only way. And it brought even more pain and suffering into my life. While all she had to do was shack up with her side piece.”

“Mercy cost us all a lot.” The hurt in Ivy’s expression tells me that she’s thinking about her mom. And it makes me feel even more selfish. At least I lost an abusive parent that shouldn’t be around.

“I’m sorry. Mercy ruined your life. You lost so much. And you didn’t even participate willingly. I did. It was a choice. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about any of it now. I feel guilty one minute and angry the next.”

“I believe we shouldn’t let Mercy take anything else from us, including our peace and happiness.” Ivy clears her throat before she asks, “Are we staying or going?”

I’m going to regret this. “Let’s stay. I still don’t want him to do it, but I’m having a hard time leaving too.”

Ivy gives me a supportive smile. “You know the Montclair duo can’t make anything easy.”

“Agreed.” I follow behind her as we make the trek to the old, abandoned campus. Unfortunately, that means walking through the cemetery where the Keepers’ mausoleum is located. Yet another reminder that even if we can move on from Mercy and the torment of the Keepers, they’re always nearby and lurking around the corner. “I’m considering going away for college.”

“Really? I thought you were attending DUNO.”

“Well, that’s the plan.” Not completely mine. “I have a full scholarship, so it was more of a given than a choice. But I’m thinking a change of scenery might be better.”

“Could be.” Ivy stares to the ground before she stops and faces me. “But just a word of advice—running from the pain doesn’t help. You’ll still have it somewhere else just with a different view. Though, an ocean view wouldn’t be bad.”

I laugh. “Yeah, I’d rather be sad on the beach than here.”

Ivy giggles before she says, “But really, if that’s what you truly want to do then go for it. But don’t expect the darkness not to follow.”

“The problem is I can’t figure out what I want. My head is a jumbled mess.”

“Then I’d wait until you can think clearly before you make the choice.”

I stop before we step through the doorway of the old gym, the crowd’s shouts and chatter already loud and earsplitting. “That seems impossible.”

Ivy gives me a sympathetic smile before we step in to the full chaos. The grimy room is packed wall-to-wall with spectators. Of course Troy is a step behind me. I don’t think the guy ever sleeps. But as soon as we walk up to Luca, he gives Troy an I-got-her nod, and he retreats into the crowd.