Page 71 of Mercy & Malice

“That is absolutely not true.” She reaches for me, but when I take a step back, she freezes. “No one is responsible except the cruel beasts who took you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Brooke.”

I hear her words, but don’t believe she truly means them. It’s like a horror movie you don’t want to watch but can’t seem to look away from. She’d never be able to get it out of her head any better than I’m able to. So I deflect. “Except sharing a bed with the person I’ve loved since before I knew what it meant. Got it.”

Without watching for her response, I hurry out of the house. I can’t do this right now, and I don’t want to face her after what I just admitted to her and myself. I’ve always known I’ve loved Micah. But saying it aloud makes it real. And the reality is too much.

As soon as I back out of the garage, I see Troy, Mr. Always Everywhere Bodyguard, waiting and ready. He follows right behind me out of the driveway and onto the street. At least he’s in a separate vehicle. I crank my music up, making sure it’s on the happy playlist, but it’s less than a minute later when I turn it down but not completely off. I can’t handle the noise, but I’m scared of sitting in quiet with only my thoughts for company.

38

MICAH

I haven’t moved from the table. My father asked Tara to marry him after capturing and tormenting her daughter. What a sick fucking bastard. I get the sense he’s forcing my hand, betting I won’t expose him since I’d have to throw myself into the fire too. I can’t explain to Tara that she’s marrying a complete psychopath. However, this proves that the right move is to eliminate the bastard completely. Everyone will be better off without him.

When I finally leave the kitchen, I see Tara standing near the staircase. “Brooke left. I just don’t know what to say to her without making things worse. Can you tell me what happened to the two of you? I know it was difficult and traumatizing. But I don’t feel like I’ll be able to help her recover if I don’t know the true extent of her pain and the horror she endured. That you both were subjected to …” She trails off, her blinking rapidly.

“She needs to be the one to tell you. It’s not my place.” There is no way I’m volunteering any information that Brooke doesn’t want revealed. “And I believe she needs her mother more than my father needs to latch on to a new wife.”

Tara turns her face away as she says, “We knew there would be some adjustment, but I didn’t think she’d be so against it.”

“Brooke is against everything right now because she’s hurting beyond what either of us can imagine.”

“You faced it also. Give yourself some grace too.”

I don’t need grace. I need revenge. Deep, severe vengeance. “Please let me know when my father returns home.”

She nods as I walk away to call Luca to let him know the latest. He’s no more shocked at the development than I am. But unlike him, I can’t focus on anything other than the moment I get to murder our father.

After checking in with Troy to find he’s tailing Brooke, I spend the rest of my time searching and digging through everything I can get my hands on. There has got to be a clue or money trail or something that will give some kind of indication as to where my father is hiding.

I don’t know when I dozed off, but I wake to the room pitch black and my bed beside me empty. After I heard Brooke slam her bedroom door, I kept working and figured she’d come to my room if she needed me. Or maybe I just want her to need me because then she’ll keep me around after all this plays out, even if she hates me. But the truth is I’ll always need her more than she’ll ever want me.

The house is dark and quiet. Tara made sure to tell me good night earlier, but I think it was more a check of which bedroom I was in.

Tapping softly against the door, I push it open, thankful it’s not locked like I expected to find it. For a split second, I fill with panic when my eyes adjust to the darkness and find her bed empty. Then I spot her in the armchair, her back to me and knees to her chest. As I move in front of her, dread replaces the panic when I see her blank expression fixated out the window.

“Can’t sleep?” I ask stupidly, unsure what to say. The emptiness in her expression is twisting my soul into a knot that I fear will never unravel.

Her chin rests on her knees as she mumbles, “Don’t let your new stepmom catch you in here.”

Crouching down in front of her, I place my hands on the side of the chair. “I don’t care if she finds me in here.” She remains silent so I tell her, “Let’s get some sleep.”

Her vacant eyes meet mine, and that’s when I see the dampness from her tears as she says, “I was sleeping, but I had a nightmare that I was back there again. I was freezing and dirty. And it was worse than before, because you weren’t there. I couldn’t find you anywhere. I was alone. How selfish am I that I was upset that you weren’t there too?”

When she tucks her face down, I reach for her and cup her cheek against my palm. She leans into my hand, and her eyes squeeze shut as a tear falls.

I wait until she opens her eyes and her haunted gaze lands on me when I tell her, “There’s no hell you’ll ever have to face without me.”

She sucks in a strangled breath as she mutters, “You really are crazy.”

“Only when it comes to you, yes.” I press my lips to hers, hoping to reassure her of my words. “Let’s go to bed.”

I take her hands in mine as I stand, then lead her to the bed. We slip under the covers; her face pressed against my chest. “My mom is going to be mad if she finds you in here.”

“She’ll have to get over it.” There’s no way I’m walking out of this room, leaving a barrier between us, knowing Brooke is sitting in the chair crying after reliving her nightmare. I won’t let her face it in person or in her head alone.

“What if she tells your dad? I don’t want him to get upset with you.”

If only that were my biggest worry about him. “Neither of them will keep me away from you.”