Page 34 of Fueled Fury

20

Lainey

My eyes glance in the rearview mirror looking for Austin. Surprisingly, he’s not there. I truly expected him to chase me down after I sped away. But this isn’t about him. There’s someone else who deserves my fury.

Skidding to a jerky stop, I slam on the brakes and bail out of Lucy before I have time to decide otherwise. Running up to the front door, I don’t want to knock, this is supposed to be my house too, but twisting the doorknob doesn’t do a damn thing. The door is locked. Of course. I bang against the solid wood, yelling for my dad to open the door. I feel like I’m losing my mind as I fumble with the keys in my shaking hand, dropping them to the ground at my feet.

Why can’t I get a grip on anything around me? Stooping down, a few curses leave my mouth as I retrieve the keychain then try to figure out which is the correct one. Do I even have a key for this house? My mom’s house has a keypad with a code, but I don’t need it—her door is never locked. I can walk into that house without announcing myself, looking for a key, or pounding on the door.

Finally, the door swings open and my dad stands there, his face covered in terror. “Lainey, what’s wrong?”

He reaches out, gripping his hands on my shoulders as he hauls me into the house. Shoving away from him, I hold my keys up. “I don’t have a key for this house.”

“What?” He looks to the keys then back to me with confusion.

I don’t blame him because I don’t understand why an insignificant piece of metal is bothering me. A fucking key.

“Yeah. This is my house, right? ‘I don’t have to knock.’ I can just walk in. But yet, I don’t have a key.”

“I thought you had one. I’ll get you one made. This is your house.”

“No, it’s not. It should’ve been. It was supposed to be. But you didn’t want me.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Did something happen with your mom?”

“Of course you would think something happened with Mom. Because the only reason the two of you speak to me is to hurt the other.”

“Lainey, tell me what happened.”

“I needed you. That’s what happened. I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

“Why didn’t you call me? You know you can call me anytime.”

“I did. I called you every single day for three months, and you didn’t answer the phone. Every. Fucking. Day. I’d dial your number and get your voice mail.”

“What? When?”

“When you left me with her. I called you every wretched day because I wanted you to come get me. I even called Randolph once. He said you couldn’t talk because you were on the track, but you’d call me after the race. You never did. But I did see you standing on a podium, waving a fucking trophy in the air with the biggest smile I’d ever seen on your face. And you didn’t call me back that day. It was months later when I finally spoke to you, and by then I already knew you didn’t want me. That I was stuck with Mom. And all she did was move me across the lake so I’d have a constant reminder—not that I needed it, because all she does is use me to get back at you.”

“Lainey, I’m sorry. Your mother and I were going through a rough patch and—”

“That’s right. Everything was about the two of you manipulating each other and your toxic marriage. To hell with me, right? It was only about the two of you getting what you wanted.”

My dad rubs his hand across his face in frustration. “That’s not true.”

“You want the truth? I hate you both. I’m not good enough to be her daughter, and I wasn’t enough for you either.” I turn to leave, rushing out the door.

“Lainey, get back here.”

Reaching my car, I yank the door open as I look back to my dad. “Do you know what hurt the most?”

He hesitates before he asks, “What?”

“That you called her back first. That you still didn’t want to talk to me. But I heard why, you told her she was nothing but a whore and I’d grow up to be just like her.”

“I was angry. She’d been screwing around—”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” I can’t listen. He’s placing blame on her. Anything other than just saying he loved racing more than me. The image of him smiling on the podium while the gold trophy glistened in the sunlight is imprinted in my brain, and so is the way I felt as I cried while watching it.

“I didn’t mean it. It’s obviously still bothering you. Let’s go inside and we can talk about it. I’ll answer any question you have.”

Shaking my head, I look down to Lucy and back to him. “No. Because the only answer I need you won’t give me.” Racing. The thing that was most important to him. The thing that he left me for. The only thing we have in common. It’s the very thing he won’t allow me. To win.