Page 5 of Coastal Rewind

There always was.

Five hours, four podcasts, three coffees, two missed exits, and one tank of gas later, I pulled into the front gates of my old childhood summer home.

The Malibu house was my mom’s pride and joy before she died. My dad purchased the property so our family could spend time together when he was at his LA offices. I had distant but vivid memories of her taking us to the beach to search for shells or hiking in the mountains to see the Hollywood sign. The house was full of life because she was full of life.

While that was meaningful to my siblings, it made it hard for me to visit.

Aiden and his girlfriend, Rori, were living here for now while they saved for a permanent house. All the Kelly kids had lived in this house over the past ten years—all except for me. I always meant to go back to CCU and move in here with my siblings, but as time went on and distance grew longer it stopped feeling like an option. Everyone grew up and found happy partners. They were all living their own fairy tales. My fairy tale had yet to be written—and likely never would be.

The front door of the house flew open and Maeve came bolting out to the driveway, followed by the rest of the family. I opened my door and hopped to the ground just before Maeve knocked the wind out of me as she wrapped her small frame around mine.

“Hey, stranger,” she said into my hair.

“I’m hardly a stranger. It’s only been a few months.” I laughed, but the guilt was already creeping in as I actually did the math on how long it had been since I visited.

“Well, that’s too many months,” she huffed out.

Maeve’s husband Colin approached and guided her back to the house with his hands on her shoulders, mumbling about letting me breathe. Nolan and his wife Maggie hugged me next, followed by Aiden and Rori.

Owen stood about ten feet back with a stern look on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. His wife Lottie rolled her eyes but smirked at me.

I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked directly at my brooding twin brother. We stood there, eyes locked and unmoving in a quiet faceoff. After a few beats, Owen’s face broke into a wide smile and he opened his arms.

I squealed and ran for him, throwing myself into his chest as he lifted me off the ground.

“I missed you, Ry.”

“Everyone keeps saying that.” I laughed.

“Yeah, so maybe you should listen.”

He placed me down on my feet but looped his arm around my shoulders as he turned us toward the front door. The moment I stepped through the threshold, it was like stepping back in time. I’d visited on multiple occasions—birthdays, graduations, weddings—but each time I was hit with the memories of a past I missed desperately.

Sometimes I wished I could just hit rewind and go back to a time where everything was simple—a time before all the loss.

A time before reality slapped me across the face.

I schooled my face and put on a bright smile as we entered the kitchen. Keegan’s husband Luke was cooking something that smelled delicious and Keegan was tucked under his arm. Owen cleared his throat, and it was like I could physically feel the air in the room shift.

Something was different—off.

Keegan glanced over her shoulder and smiled at me with glassy eyes. She turned out of Luke’s hold and I stilled as I took in my little sister. She was wearing a simple pair of leggings and a cropped shirt that did nothing to hide her very round, pregnant belly.

Okay, maybe it has been more than a few months since I was last here.

“Surprise,” Keegan said, taking a step forward.

My fingers started going numb and my breaths became shallow as I found my mind wandering back to the dark place I tried to stay away from. The place that told me I didn’t belong here. The place that told me I’d be alone on my solo adventure through life forever.

Owen nudged my shoulder, and I snapped out of my thoughts. I could feel the mask slip into place. The mask that showed my family I was glowing and happy being a traveling nomad. I smiled at my sister and took a few steps forward.

“We wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how to tell you over the phone…and I knew you’d be home this weekend and I thought it would be fun to reveal it in person and⁠—”

I cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you, Keegs. This is amazing.”

Keegan’s shoulders dropped with relief as her arms wrapped around me. I wasn’t lying, this was amazing news. She was going to make the best mom, and my jealousy was not her burden to bear.

Even through the happy emotions I was feeling, it struck me that she waited to tell me in person knowing I wasn’t home often. She wanted to share that special moment with me and had no choice but to do it on my schedule.