Page 59 of One Merciful Moment

When they finished, Ashley pushed her plate aside and came around the table, settling beside him instead of across from him. She tucked her legs under herself and leaned into his shoulder, her head resting against him like it was the only place she wanted to be.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close. Her warmth seeped into him, her breath soft against his shirt, her fingers tracing idle patterns on his forearm. It was the kind of closeness he craved. He'd experienced nothing like this in his life.

He'd never once dreamt of having a home or a woman in his life. It was everything he'd ever wanted but never thought he deserved.

Everything was perfect.

Ashley's hand stilled on his arm, her breath slowing as she relaxed against him. He watched the shadows from the day ending dance across the walls, darkening the room.

He didn't want to ruin this moment. But he needed to talk to her. The stress was eating him alive. The pressure against his ribs, heavy and tiresome.

She shifted, sensing the change in him. "Boone?"

He swallowed hard. He had to tell her, or he'd never face the truth neither of them wanted to say out loud.

Today's gift of food, returning to the store, and the ominous cloud still hovering over them, watching, put pressure on him. He was running out of time.

"Let's go sit on the couch." He stood, taking her hand.

He sat in the corner, pulling Ashley close to his side. She curled against him, tucking her legs under herself, resting her head on his shoulder. She seemed more content tonight. It probably helped to have a fuller stomach with the added meat and milk.

He shifted slightly. The urge to get up and pace was almost too strong to ignore.

She lifted her head and gazed at him. Her trusting eyes made it hard to breathe.

"Ash..." His voice came out rough. "I need to talk to you."

Her fingers stilled on his arm. She sat up a little and turned toward him, her knees brushing his thigh. "Okay," she whispered.

He looked down at their hands. Hers were so much smaller than his larger, calloused ones. Yet he was the one trembling. He took a slow breath, steadying himself, then lifted his gaze to her.

"You've shown me a life I didn't think existed," he said quietly. "Not for someone like me."

Ashley's brows pulled together, but she didn't interrupt.

"I didn't know what it felt like to be loved. Not really. Not in a way that mattered." He shook his head. "I didn't even know what it felt like to love someone else... until you."

Ashley's gaze softened.

He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers linger against her cheek. "I love you." He exhaled harshly. "Those words feel too small for what's going on inside my head. They don't even touch how I feel about you."

She stroked his arm.

"You gave me something I didn't think I'd ever have," he continued. "A home. A reason to wake up. A reason to stay clean. A reason to try." He brushed his thumb against her cheekbone. "You made me believe I could be more than what I was."

Ashley leaned into his touch, her lips parting.

His voice broke. "But because I feel that way, I can't keep you here."

She froze.

"I wish I could, Ash. I wish things were different. I wish I was a better man for you." He dropped his hand. "But when the veil opens, you need to go home."

Ashley's eyes filled instantly, her breath catching.

He forced himself to keep going, even though every word scraped him raw. "You have a life out there. A real one where you don't have to worry about food and electricity. You have friends and your gardens. You don't belong trapped in a place that won't let you leave. You don't belong tied to a man who can't survive outside Everstill."

She shook her head, tears gathering. "Boone—"