Page 55 of One Merciful Moment

Ashley had no idea what to do. The only thing she knew with absolute clarity was that she loved Boone. Loving him made every decision impossible. Either she would get hurt, or she'd hurt Boone.

Chapter 32

Boone

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The girls were gathered in the grass, heads bent together. The sunlight caught in Ashley's hair. Boone sat on the curb outside the gas station and rubbed his head. His heart couldn't take much more.

She looked small from this distance. Small and young. Small and scared. Small and beautiful.

Since arriving in Everstill, she hadn't allowed herself a moment to break down. She struggled, but she was strong. Much stronger than him.

She kept glancing toward him, as if checking he was still there. Every time her eyes found him, it was harder to breathe.

He wanted to go to her. He wanted to sit beside her on the grass and tell her everything would be okay. But he couldn't promise that. Not with the veil shifting. Not with Copper's storm looming over them all.

Finn stood a few feet away, leaning against the old ice chest outside the station. Moe paced in front of the pumps, kicking up loose gravel with every pivot, muttering under his breath. They were all bracing for a storm.

Boone didn't look away from Ashley until Finn cleared his throat. "Have you gotten any closer to knowing what you're going to do when the veil opens?"

Moe stopped pacing. "I'm going back. No question. Jillian deserves to see her mom. She's been stuck here long enough."

"Yeah, I get that." Finn nodded, though his expression stayed tight.

"But I'm coming back afterward." Moe rubbed the back of his neck, staring across the street at Jillian. "Everstill is home now. I don't want to stay out there. Besides, Jillian will never lose her mom if she comes back here. Or at least not as fast. She's seen firsthand how time stops while she's here. The moment she gets to see her mom, she'll be in the same condition as when she left."

"What's wrong with her mom?" Boone asked.

Moe shook his head. "Early-onset dementia. Most of the time, she doesn't even recognize her own daughter."

"Damn." Boone straightened his legs, easing the ache out of his thighs. "That's rough. Are you sure Jillian will come back here?"

"Yeah. Positive."

Boone stood, stretching his legs. Moe was confident in his plans. Everstill was home to him.

Finn grunted. "I don't know if I'm coming back."

"Serious?" Moe scratched his jaw. "Why not?"

"We had a good life out there. I had a job. We had a place to live. We were together. Things made more sense there than they do here." Finn exhaled slowly, shoulders sagging. "Everstill feels like a pause button. Like we're stuck in the same moment."

"I don't know if I could do it," Moe said. "Knowing I'll start getting old again. Hell, Jillian is so much younger than me. Would it even be fair to do that to her? She'll lose me faster if we stay on the other side."

Boone looked at his hands. They were shaking again. Small tremors he couldn't hide, couldn't stop. He curled them into fists until the shaking dulled.

Moe turned to him. "What about you?"

"He should stay." Finn raised his brows. "He's clean here."

Boone let out a humorless breath and shook his head. "That's my problem."

The other men stepped closer. Boone inhaled deeply. The vibrations in his chest hadn't gone away since Copper announced Everstill had stabilized thanks to Ashley.

"You guys, you have choices. You can go back. You can come here. You can build a life either way." He swallowed hard. "I can't. My addiction still rules my life, even if I haven't used in a long time. Fuck." He shook his head. "Even the coffee Copper tried to give me the other night made me start shaking like I'd die if I didn't have a drink. If I step outside Everstill, there's no doubt, I'd be using whatever I could get my hands on."

He gazed across the street. Ashley talked with Kallie and Jillian with a seriousness that told him everything he needed to know. His throat closed, and he swallowed.