Page 43 of One Merciful Moment

He looked away, staring at the sidewalk like he could still see the blood sprayed across the room. "He killed her. He thought he killed me. And then he killed himself. He put the gun under his chin and blew off his fucking head. I lived because he missed shooting me in the heart. That's it. That's the reason you're better off without me. I was never supposed to live. Then I spent most of my life trying to kill myself with drugs." A harsh laugh escaped him. "Couldn't even do that." He glanced at her. "You deserve someone who can take care of you."

She cupped his cheek. He didn't pull away this time. He couldn't. He wasn't strong like her.

"You're meant to live," she whispered.

Boone closed his eyes, fighting the burn behind them. He wanted to believe her, but he had too many demons on his back.

"You're here. You survived. You matter." She kissed his lips. "You matter to me."

His breath shuddered, and he leaned into her touch. There was nothing left to hide. She knew everything, and she wasn't walking away.

Boone whispered, "I don't know how to let you stay."

"Maybe it's not up to you," she whispered back.

Chapter 26

Ashley

––––––––

Boone's gaze stayed fixed on the sidewalk, on the cracks in the concrete, on anything that wasn't her. Ashley stayed right beside him on the courthouse steps, close enough that the tremor of his breathing shook her.

"Hey, look at me," she whispered. "You survived something unimaginable."

Her heart raced, imagining the trauma he'd endured as a boy. He'd lost both parents. The person he was supposed to trust had betrayed him in the most violent, unforgivable way.

He'd experienced terror, anger, survivor's guilt, confusion, hypervigilance. He'd lost the ability to trust love the moment his father picked up that gun.

Her stomach rolled. She inhaled through her nose, breaking for the little boy he had been and the man he became because of what his father had done.

Boone's jaw twitched. "I shouldn't have lived."

She fought the urge to grab his face and force him to look at her. "You lived because something in this world refused to let you go. You were needed, Boone."

He huffed. "A missed bullet isn't fate. It's poor shooting."

"No," she said softly. "It's mercy."

Boone flinched as if the word hurt.

She continued. "Your dad tried to kill you. You were a child. You didn't deserve that. You didn't cause that."

"I was supposed to die with her." His fingers curled into fists.

"No, you were supposed to live and grow up. You were supposed to be here in Everstill. You were supposed to be right here where you found me." She laid her hand over his fist. "Boone, you're not a mistake. You're a miracle."

"Don't say that."

"I'll say it every day," she said, firmer now. "Because it's true."

He finally looked at her, and the pain in his eyes nearly shattered her. A lifetime of hurt lived there. Deep, carved-in pain he didn't know where it ended and he began.

"I'm falling apart." He closed his eyes an extra beat. "I can't hold anything together."

"Yes, you can," she said. "You've become part of this community. The men rely on you." She stroked his cheek. "You've made me fall in love with you."

His eyes widened, fear flickering through them. "Don't."