Page 4 of Shattered Souls

“Shit.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay.” I smile. “You can buy me a drink to make up for it.”

He puts out his own cigarette and laughs before following me back to the bar. The crowd’s slowly losing members by the minute, and the people that remain, are beyond tipsy.

I’m able to spend the rest of this shift cleaning my station in silence, the way I prefer. The entire time, Callum looks my way with heavy eyes. Something deep in my bones tells me he doesn’t believe the boyfriend card, but I’m hoping it’s just my lack of general trust.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night.” I wave at Callum from the front door. He nods at me but doesn’t say anything. Wonderful.

I speed walk across the parking lot and practically throw myself into the driver seat of my small Toyota Corolla, one that I had to trade my father’s truck in to get. That was a pain without the title.

I make it to my apartment in one piece, though my nerves are at an all time high. I open the glove box and take out the small pill bottle. I open it and pop one in my mouth to hopefully have a panic attack free night.

I enter the apartment and immediately turn to lock the four different locks I installed as soon as I moved in. Although I watched my father’s life bleed into the carpet of our trailer, I still fear that he’s coming for me. That somehow he’s going to find me and drag me back to the hell hole that is Kissimmee, Florida.

I toss my keys onto the counter and take a seat on the couch. I grab my laptop and open it. Just like every night since I’ve gotten the stupid thing, I open Google and type my father’s name.

Roughly two months after I ran, I found an article from the local news that talked about his death and the disappearance of his daughter—me. For a year, I fell asleep looking at the article like it might update and I’d see “found you” flash across the screen.

The whole world goes silent when the results of my search come up today.

Arrest made in murder/kidnapping.

I blink my eyes a few times to make sure I’m seeing that right. I click the article.

Florida man arrested in the murder of Charlie Russ and the kidnapping of his daughter, Mae Russ.

“No fucking way.” I say to no one.

Someone was arrested for something I did. Someone is going to rot in prison, where I should be. My hand shakes, even as I exit out of the tab and make my way into my room.

Soon, the shaking takes over my whole body. Not long after that, the tears start to flow.

I swear I can smell his cologne covering me like a blanket. I can hear his heart beating under my ear as I lay on his chest while he tells me that I did a good job, and that he loves me.

I can feel his lips pressed against my cheek before he leaves for work in the morning, whispering affirmations and praises for how well I behaved for him.

I fall asleep and dream of him stroking my hair when I was little.

The following morning, I call out of work at the bar.

Then I call out of the diner the next day.

When I finally show my face in the diner, Eleanor doesn’t waste any time coming to check up on me.

“Where have you been? You weren’t answering your phone. Plus, you never miss work.” Her brows are pulled together, but thankfully, she keeps her hands to herself.

“I had some family stuff come up, took some time to process.” Not technically a lie.

“Oh no,” She wraps her arms around herself. Her mouth opens to say something I’m sure is going to be reassuring and comforting, but is cut short by Allie bouncing over.

“Are you coming this weekend? I heard they might sell out!” Eleanor shoots her a look to tell her to shut up. “What?”

“You know what,” I tuck my hands into my sleeves. “I’ll go. Where do I buy my ticket?” Eleanor’s eyes widen and Allie squeals, jumping up and down.

“Oh my god!” Allie grabs both of my shoulders. “I could fucking kiss you, woman. Don’t worry about tickets. I’m buying.”

“No, Allie.” I say between laughs.