Page 3 of Shattered Souls

I have to take a few deep breaths for my mind to calm down and try to rationalize the world around me.

The rest of my shift passes by just as slow. Only this time less eventful, and for that, I’m forever grateful. I grab my phone and keys from my locker before heading towards the door.

“Hey,” Allie calls out as she jogs over to me. “You should really consider coming with us. I know you’ll love seeing all the shirtless and bloody men.” Does everyone here have to make me second guess if they know?

“Look, Allie.” I let my shoulders slump. “I’m just not a big people person. I’m not crazy about crowds.” While it’s the truth, she’ll never understand the reason behind my distaste.

“I get it. We just don’t want you to feel left out is all.” She grips my arm in a friendly way, but it makes my skin crawl.

We say our goodbyes and I leave the diner for my two days off—from the diner, at least. Two days that I fear I’ll spend researching new apartments a little further away from here.

Three hours later, I’m standing in front of a wall of liquor with far too many eyes on me. The weekends at The Cavern are busy, and honestly, the main thing that lets me pay my rent.

I hate having to plaster on a smile the entire night, but I also love being able to eat the rest of the week—so here we are.

“Hi, Honey.” One of my regulars, Tammy, greets me.

“Afternoon, Tammy.” I grab the bottle of vodka to make her regular order. “Same thing as always?”

“You know it.” She sighs across the bar. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my tired face. I let my muscle memory kick in as I make her extra dirty martini. When I pass the tall glass over to her, she slips me a fifty and winks at me.

She filters into the throng of people and sets her eyes on some unsuspecting man that she’ll probably take home tonight. That makes one of us.

The traffic at the bar thins out enough that I can finally sneak off to the back and press my head against the metal door of the fridge. The past few days have been weighing on me heavily and I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with it.

“Crying in here without me?” Callum, my fellow bartender, comes around the corner and leans on the wall next to me.

“Every shift.” I spin and press my back to the cool metal. Callum pulls his cigarettes from his pocket and offers me one. I silently thank him and place the butt between my teeth. He leans over and lights it for me, his hand lingering a little too long.

I can’t deny that Callum’s attractive.

Because he’s deathly beautiful.

But I refuse to let myself indulge in physical relationships. Not that they even sound appealing to me, but I won’t let myself get attached to someone like that.

“Tammy come in yet?” He questions, while blowing smoke out of the side of his mouth.

“Tipped fifty.” I flick the ash from my cigarette onto the ground.

“Fucker,” He laughs at me, knowing damn well I’m not sharing the profit with him.

“What can I say,” I shrug my shoulders and stomp out the lit butt. “She likes my pretty face more than your pretty face. Maybe if you’d gotten here earlier, she’d take you home tonight.” He rolls his eyes.

Tammy has tried and failed a handful of times to get me and Callum to go home with her. I had the excuse that I wasn’t into women. Callum, on the other hand, didn’t get off the hook that easily.

“You know, Rayvn,” He grabs my arm to stop me from leaving the back. Fear slithers down my spine at his touch, but I try not to let it show. “Maybe I could take you home tonight.”

My cheeks heat at the raw desire in his voice.

“Callum,” My face resembles something between pained and embarrassed. He must take note because he releases me and takes a step back.

“Come on, Rayvn,” He gives me a half smile. “No strings attached. Just sex. Nothing will change.” Is this how normal twenty-five year olds hook up? So casually talking about it like this?

I search for the right words, not wanting to tarnish the relationship we share within the bar—outside of here, I’ve never even seen him.

“Callum, I’m seeing someone.” I lie.

I’ve spent two and a half years lying through my teeth like it’s nothing. But this—this hurts my lonely soul.