Page 26 of The Omega Switch: Part 2

"What were you like growing up?" I asked suddenly. He looked surprised at my question, but answered it.

"I was always the largest one in my class," he deadpanned.

I laughed. "I gathered that. What else?” I asked. Ronan looked around, his eyes always watching out for anything going on ahead.

"My father believed emotions made you weak." His gaze remained on the street ahead. "If I hurt something, to him it just meant I had to train harder and be stronger. He wasn’t an easy man, but he did his best. The issue was that I became a little too good at not showing what I was feeling.” He admitted, his eyes flickering down to mine. “It’s something I’m working on changing.”

I looked away, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again. “And? How is that working out?” I asked. Ronan paused, just as we reached my street.

“It’s difficult, but necessary. I’m getting better at… talking about how I feel.” He said. I always knew he was stoic. But I liked seeing this side of him.

“Anything you want to say now?” I asked, the question coming out before I could stop myself. We reached my boutique. The sun was setting in the distance, lighting the side of Ronan’s face with a soft glow. He looked at me, and I could see shame in his eyes.

"I…Well, as far as I’m feeling… I hurt.” He said, and I could tell he wasn’t used to admitting such a thing. “I don't sleep much. I still dream about the night everything fell apart."

I held my breath, unable to respond. In the golden light, I could see the faint shadows beneath his eyes. “And I feel ashamed.” He said.

I could tell now that he was suffering. Maybe not in the same way I had suffered - nothing could erase what happened, or undo those months that I’d suffered waiting for them to see what was going on right in front of them.

“It feels better talking about it, doesn’t it?” I asked, and Ronan nodded. It was something I was still getting used to in my support group. It was strange that the deepest conversation I’d had with Ronan occurred after I severed any connection between us. Somehow, as we found out the truth about the past, we were finally really seeing each other.

The sunlight started to fade away, and I turned toward my boutique. My body remembered the confrontation with my family, how my fathers had tried to force me away from my new life, as if nothing I’d done in these past six months was worth anything. My body shook a little at the memory. My nervous system hadn’t recovered fully.

"I'll stay nearby tonight," Ronan said, and I was sure he noticed my little shiver.

"You don't have to," I said, but my voice sounded weak. I didn’t want to be alone.

"I know, but I want to. If that’s something you want.” He said.

"...Okay." I finally said. I opened the door to the boutique, then turned to him. “You’ve been sleeping in your car on the street, then?” I asked, and he looked to the side.

“Yes. I’ll pull up out front if you want - I can keep a better eye out that way. You’d have to give permission to the neighborhood watch to have a guest, though.” He offered. I bit my lip. I didn’t want to risk my family coming back here at all.

“I have a spare couch in the back office, that’s better than a car, at least,” I said. Ronan looked shocked. I opened the door to my little back office, which had a sink and a small fridge. The couch was way too small for him, but he nodded.

“No one will dare bother you tonight.” He promised, sounding as solemn as a soldier. I turned to the stairs of my own apartment.

“Thank you, Ronan.” I said, and he nodded. “Come on, Puff,” I said, patting my leg. Puff ran over to Ronan, giving him a lick before running back to the stairs. I hated to turn away. Being around Ronan made me feel safe - and I was starting to like it. That wasn’t my intention.

The moment I got upstairs, I opened the small cabinet I'd stocked with first aid supplies. I uncapped a tiny bottle, part of my own emergency blend. It was a cooling combination of botanical extracts that could calm overactive scent glands - and right now, mine were fighting to pulse out my perfume.

I didn’t want Ronan to smell my perfume. After I left my family’s home, I’d seen a doctor, which I should have done years ago. My body was so out of order from the long-term suppressant use that he had me on a regimen until my hormones were fully regulated. I’d have random bursts of sweat and perfume, then my body would fluctuate. I’d even had several small, not-quite heats occur as my body tried to regulate. Each time it happened, I’d call up omega social services in a panic, and they had sent someone to bring me to the clinic. But each time it was a false alarm. They told me my body just needed more rest.

I hadn’t had any real issues until now. I rubbed the drops of serum across the sides of my neck, and it immediately soothed the relentless itching beneath my skin. The pressure eased, and I leaned against the bathroom counter and closed my eyes.

It wasn't fair. My body wanted things my heart refused to give. I wanted to know what it would feel like if Ronan kissed me, and what it would feel like if we did more than that. I wanted to finally experience what other omegas whispered about - the comfort of curling against an Alpha who made the world feel safe.

I'd never been with anyone before. I’d never even been kissed. I groaned softly and covered my face. I reminded myself to be careful. Pack Vale still had to earn every inch of trust they'd lost, and even then, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever forgive them, much less let them continue to see me.

I climbed into bed, holding Puff close. As I started to drift off, I realized I hadn’t even checked the door or the window locks. I was so comfortable knowing Ronan was here that it completely slipped my mind. I fell asleep, quickly and calmly, with the knowledge that someone I trusted was keeping watch outside.

Chapter 15

Ivy

It was official: I loved my new friends.

Until recently, I could say I had almost no friends. Mara was the only one I had, and she worked for the family, so we were never allowed to get close until recently. I always wanted a friend group - Arabella had always had a close circle the entire time I’d known her. Plenty of girls came over to get ready for parties or talked on the phone with her late into the night. Especially after she started gaining a social media following, even more people tried to get into her circle. I was always kept at a distance, watching from afar.