Page 25 of Every Time We Touch

“Do you want me to teach you some hip-hop on Wednesday?” It’s almost too much to watch her be this adorably awkward so I stop teasing.

“Nah.” She squares her shoulders. “Best stick to the tango for now.”

“Got it.” And I couldn’t agree more. “Can I ask you something potentially obnoxious?”

“It’s only fair.” Jen really can’t get enough of that chicken. She has a speck of green sauce on the side of her lip and I have to stop myself from leaning over and wiping it off—and not just for cleanliness purposes.

“Your dad mentioned that you used to call yourself self-partnered instead of single. What’s the difference?”

Jen cocks her head. “What else has my dad told you about me?”

“Nuh-uh.” I wag my index finger from left to right. “You’re not answering one of my questions with another question again.”

“Oh.” She scrunches her lips into a pout briefly. “I wasn’t really aware I was doing that.” The pout becomes an apologetic smile—or is it flirty?

“Eric is very fond of his kids,” I say. “He enjoys talking about you guys a lot.”

“Aw,” Jen says. “My dad really is the sweetest.” Her voice goes a little soft.

She’s right. Eric is handsome and kind and intelligent. He’s everything I look for in a partner. I refrain from saying that to his daughter. Instead, I give her a look full of expectation so she will finally answer my question.

“Right.” She holds up a finger, then spoons up the last of her sauce. She puts down her cutlery, takes another swig of beer—looking increasingly delightful while doing so, even though she’s making me wait—then relaxes back into her chair. “The great self-partnering experiment.” She grins at me. Eric also told me that Jen is the child who takes herself—and life in general—most seriously, but I’m not getting that vibe from her at all today. “You’ve met my siblings. Can you imagine the grief they gave me for that?” She shrugs. “Anyway, the crux of being self-partnered versus single is that you genuinely love yourself like a partner would. That you are fully enough for yourself which, in the world we live in, is usually not something the word ‘single’ is associated with. Times have changed a bit, but it still implies some sort of lack. That it’s better to be in a couple, sometimes even to your own detriment. I was rebelling against that, and I was actually very happy on my own. The app was thriving. I was having fun at work. I had some great coworkers that I spent a lot of time with.” She huffs out some air. “Then I met Marcy.”

“It didn’t work out?” I love listening to Jen. Although she’s soft-spoken, there’s a certain command in her voice that makes you hang on her every word.

“It did.” Jen nods. “We were together for more than two years. That’s hardly a fling.”

I have to push an impertinent image of the two of them out of my brain—of the stunning couple they made.

“We’re still good friends, but… romantically, it ran its course.” Is that a hint of sadness in her voice? “Some things just aren’t meant to be forever. That’s the conclusion we drew.”

“Sure.” I’ve had my fair share of relationships like that. Fun while they lasted, but most definitely not forever.

“But after being with Marcy, I haven’t been able to call myself ‘self-partnered’ again. I’m back to just being single, and all that implies.”

“How come?”

“Because it was fucking wonderful to be in a proper relationship.” She exhales deeply. “Better than being on my own.”

“Maybe because your circumstances changed?” I offer. “You’ve been struggling with your job and your life is different than before your relationship with Marcy?”

The smile that breaks on Jen’s face is soft and a little surprised—or maybe I just think it is. “Yeah. Exactly.” Maybe not. “My dad thinks I know what to do, but I’m still too afraid to do it.”

“Maybe you’re not ready,” I say.

“I was more than ready to flee the office to come have lunch with you.” She looks at her watch. “Sadly, I have a meeting I can’t get out of.” She knots her eyebrows together. “In about fifteen minutes.” She reaches for her beer and tips it all the way back. “Thank you so much for the invitation.”

“My pleasure.”

She studies my only half-eaten plate. “Not hungry?”

“Um, no.” Terribly distracted, I think. Failing miserably at trying to make it clear to myself that I’m dating your dad—and that has consequences. “I’ll take it to go. For later.”

“See you Wednesday.” Jen rises. “I look forward to it.” She holds up her phone. “Can I Venmo you for this? I have to go, otherwise I’ll be late.”

“I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

“Your lessons come with great perks.” She takes a step toward me.