Page 49 of His Wounded Heart

I tell my mother-voice to shut the hell up!

It doesn’t feel real, his legs stretched out beneath me on the couch.

“What are we doing, Simon?”

“We’re just getting warm.”

“I don’t understand. The time to fall apart was earlier,” I whisper. I know I must look confused.

“You need some time to unwind.”

“Really?” I ask as I raise my eyebrow. “Did you fall apart when life handed you a handful of manure, or did you wait until you handled it?”

He doesn’t answer. His eyes just look into mine, filled with compassion.

I shake my head. It’s all so confusing, so tiring. I just want to lie here and let Simon take all of my fears away. “I didn’t do enough,” I finally confess. “I was so busy comforting Luther that Violet could have died, and it would have been my fault.” I pause. “And even if she dies in the hospital, it will be my fault. I didn’t do enough. I didn’t, Simon.”

Simon tilts my chin up. “That is so not true. She has a chance at survival because of you. You are the hero in this story.”

I shake my head so hard my hair slaps his face. “No, you are the hero, I’m the wimpy sidekick who’s there for comic relief, and I didn’t even do that properly.”

My attempt at humor is failing because I can feel the tears coming on again.

“Oh, Trenda. You couldn’t be more wrong.”

His fingers are still tangled in my hair, and now he begins to massage my scalp. I hiccup as I try to force the tears back.

“I need you to know that the decisions you made today saved Luther and Violet. Honestly? You were better under fire than most of the men that I’ve had under my command. One day I want to hear what things in your past have given you that backbone of steel, but left you with such a loving and compassionate heart.”

“You’re seeing me all wrong, Simon.” My words are beginning to slur. I’m so tired, and lying on top of him feels so good. “I make the worst decisions imaginable. I’ve screwed up so badly in my life. Just when I think I can trust, I find out I’m wrong. I’m stupid, Simon. Just plain stupid.”

“You’re strong, and smart, and in just a few hours you’ve become someone I’ve come to admire. You’re not stupid in the slightest.”

His hand strokes down my back.

“Rest now, Honey.”

“You’re sho, wrong. Izz, tireds now. Shleep.”

“That’s it, go to sleep. I’ve got you.”

I heard Brantley unlocking the front door, so I got up from the couch so I could confront him.

“You were supposed to be home last night.”

“I told you on the phone, Sweetheart, I had a last-minute business meeting in Lexington and I’d be home tonight, what’s the big deal?” He sat his briefcase down and threw his suit jacket on the chair near the door.

“I made a nice dinner for us. Couldn’t you have called?”

Brantley crossed the room and tried to take me into his arms, but I backed up, crossing my arms around my stomach.

“Come on, Sweetheart, don’t be like this. We can have a nice dinner tomorrow night. I’ll have one delivered from a really nice restaurant I know.”

Of course, he wouldn’t take me out to dinner, then his wife might find out about me.

It was a nightmare. Just twenty-four hours ago, before Brantley had gone on his business trip and his wife had come for a visit, telling him we’re having a baby would have been the happiest moment of my life.

“I’m pregnant.”