Page 72 of Her Faithful Protector

Cullen went over and gave his wife a lingering kiss. “See you soon.” Camilla looked at the closed door, then looked at Carys, unsure what to say. The guys had already cleared the table, so Carys headed to the kitchen and was soon back out with the brownie pie.

Dammit, I should be helping.

Camilla shook her head, trying to clear her near-constant state of fog. She stood up.

“It’s okay, I’ve got it, you stay where you are. Do you want milk with your brownie?” Carys asked.

Camilla nodded.

Before she knew it, they were sitting across from one another, digging into brownie sundaes. “Who knew a pizza place could make such a delicious dessert, huh?” Carys asked.

“Yeah, who knew.”

Camilla appreciated the silence as she ate her dessert, but as it came to an end she started to get curious. “So you and A.J. met your husbands when the teams were on missions?”

“Yep. Did A.J. tell you about the Eurovision Song Contest, and what all went on?” Carys asked.

“She touched on it on the way from the airport, but I was pretty strung out, so it didn’t really register. From what Cullen was saying at dinner your time together in Africa was horrifying.”

“I wouldn’t say that at all.” Carys looked at her with a warm expression. “Cullen was just scared for me, Shada, and baby Adam.”

“Really?”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, we could have died, but I had faith that Cullen would save us. He’s extraordinary. All of those men are.”

“Yes. Yes, they are.” She pictured Mexico and what they’d done. Camilla worked mercilessly hard to stop herself from thinking what would have happened if Nic and the others hadn’t rescued them.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” Carys’ voice was kind and soft.

“You want to know about me and Nic, right?”

“Well if you want to tell me, I would love to hear,” Carys replied, her eyes twinkling. “But no, that’s not it.”

“What then?” Camilla stirred at what was left in her bowl, suddenly not very hungry.

“Well, first I’m going to tell you a little bit more about me. Years ago, I used to be part of Doctors without Borders. I had a horrific experience where I was practically raped. Another SEAL team saved me, but the fallout from that kept me indoors for damn near a month when I got back to the States. Logically I should have known better than that, I’m a physician, I should have known to ask for help, but I didn’t. I just shut myself away in my house.”

Camilla stared at the woman. How could she talk about it so calmly?

“What did you do?”

“An old family friend came and visited. She saw what was wrong. She made me shower and eat, then she cleaned up the place and called one of my colleagues. Ted ended up dragging me kicking and screaming to a therapist. It was the best thing he could have done. I bless Rosa and Ted every day. They saved me.”

“Nic wants me to go see a counselor. His mom suggested it too. I just think time will take care of it.” She pushed the dish away from her and melted ice cream sloshed over the side, making a mess on the table.

“Carys, what I don’t get is that I was fine while I was in Mexico. I kept it together, you know? I helped others. Why am I such a basket case now? And in front of Nic? I don’t want him to see me like this. He says he wants a second chance with me. I think he’s serious. Like forever kind of serious, but what if I’m some kind of woman who can’t keep it together, who’s…who’s crying all the time.”

She felt tears on her face.

“Let it out,” Carys said quietly.

“What if I’m someone who just wants to be in pain so she can take the damn pills so she doesn’t have to think or feel? What kind of person am I? Who would want a second chance with that kind of person?” She reached out and snatched up a napkin to sop up her tears.

Camilla didn’t know how, but Carys was in a chair beside her, and she was mindfully pulling her into her arms, taking care not to hurt her shoulder.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry all of this happened to you, I really am. But you were rescued, what, eight days ago?”

“Nine,” Camilla said into Carys’ shoulder.