Page 131 of The Addict

“I don’t want you to treat me like I’m breakable anymore. I’m already broken.”

“Do you think that matters to me?”

“There is no use trying to salvage shattered glass.”

I am glass.

“Noah, you are far more valuable than glass.”

You can see through me.

“Think so?”

His thumb brushed my lips. “Yes. I know so.”

I can shatter with the simplest of touches.

I pulled away slowly, so as to not ruin the peacefulness. Without looking at my phone, I could tell it was dawn. The sun had already risen to its highest point in the sky, claiming its position on the top of the world, and small rays of light trickled in through the window. I assumed that time was running thin, and if Silas was alone, that wouldn’t last much longer.

I reached for my clothes at the foot of the bed.

I am jagged.

A firm hand clutched tightly onto my arm before my fingers could touch the shirt. I cringed.

“We still have some time before you need to do that...” Silas murmured, squeezing my arm.

“Silas–”

“I want you Noah,” he spoke softly, but firmly, his hands trailing up past my neck to my face. He held me there, at a standstill, forcing me to look into his eyes. “We’re both fucked up so what’s the damn point in trying avoid it?”

I could feel the beads of sweat forming on my brow. The air around us was thick. My throat tightened.

“You’re not avoiding me any longer,” Silas affirmed, “I’m not a patient man Noah, and I’ve had it with your evasiveness.” His grip tightened.

It was happening again. This thing between us was turning into a constant battle of pure sexual desire. If I allowed it to continue, then it was going to continue as something, and I wouldn’t hold back. It wouldn’t just be random meetings to fuck any longer. It would be planned. It would be risky.

And I didn’t know if it would ever stop.

My body didn’t want it to.

But my mind was somewhere else. My mind kept taking me back to all of the people who I knew would be disappointed in me. For so many reasons.

My mom. Damian. Delane? I couldn’t get her out of my head.

“You came to me for a reason, Noah.”

“I don’t know,” I denied on instinct. I knew exactly why I was here. Just as certain as I was of the desire that surged inside of me.

I wanted Silas. I wanted his pain. His pleasure. I wanted him to help me forget everything. He was the only one who I could place an ounce of trust in. He had seen me.

The real me.

The fucked me.

And he still wanted me.

In a world that has degraded me to the point where I felt worthless, that gave me a sense of purpose and strength.