Page 44 of Devil’s Torture
“I have no idea.” I shrug. “I’m sure she has some sort of plan.”
Miller’s arm slides around my waist and he pulls me flush against his chest. My breathing turns heavy just like it always does when we’re this close.
Now that we know where this is going, no matter how much time it takes us to rebuild something even stronger than we used to have, I’ve felt a kind of peace I haven’t experienced in far too long.
But it’s still a strange feeling. To have him close enough to touch. To let the ten years of anger that have fueled me go. To see my daughter open her heart to her father, something I wasn’t sure I would witness.
Miller studies my face with a kind of focus that has goosebumps forming on my skin. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes?” It comes out more like a question than a statement.
He glances toward where Dawn disappeared before leading me back to his room in the clubhouse. Once I’m sitting on the bed, he crouches down in front of me, his large hands grip mine like he’s trying to ground me.
“Talk to me, Bex,” there’s a demand in his voice and a plea in his eyes.
“I talked to Dawn today. She’s fine with you and I being together and she even mentioned you moving in with us.” My tone is flat, but inside I’m a turmoil of emotions.
“How do you feel about that?”
Something in my heart softens because even though I can see the excitement and satisfaction written on Miller’s face, his first reaction isn’t to celebrate. It’s to check in with me. How can I not fall a little more in love with a man who does that?
“I’m not sure,” I admit, my words honest. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re in her life, I’m just finding it difficult to let go. I’ve been handling this alone for a long time. It’s become not just a habit or a routine but a way of life.”
“No one expects you to adjust immediately,” his voice is gentle, almost coaxing. “Tell me what you need and I’ll do it. If that means backing off, then I will.” When all I do is arch a disbelieving eyebrow at him, he glances away and presses his lips into a line before correcting himself, “At least for a few days.”
Even though I’m still feeling a little off-kilter, one side of my mouth tugs up into an almost smile.
“It’s just going to take a little time,” the words feel like as much of a concession as I’m capable of.
“It will,” there’s a sage note in Miller’s voice. “The last thing I want to do is take over your life,” he assures me. “I just want to be a part of it.”
“I know,” the words are thick in my throat. “I don’t think you’re trying to take over, and I know Dawn is more than capable of loving both of us. She has plenty of room in her heart.”
His face turns serious and his large hands come up to cup my face. “What about you, Bex? Is there plenty of room in your heart.”
I might have said that I never stopped loving him, but I haven’t actually said the words. His forehead presses against mine and for a moment we just breathe together.
Instead of answering I mutter, “Shouldn’t this be harder?”
One side of his mouth twitches. “You want it to be?”
“Maybe a little,” I grumble. “For so long I didn’t picture doing this with anyone and just going it alone. I had accepted it. Now, you’re here and it’s so easy and natural in so many ways. It makes me nervous.”
“It’s okay to be nervous,” his voice is low and coaxing. “It’s okay to not trust it, as long as you keep a little room to see that you can rely on me.”
“I know I can,” the words slip past my lips without me thinking about them and I’m surprised at how true they are and how much I believe them.
“I’ve got you.”
“I know,” I whisper.
Miller takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.
“I love you, Bexley,” he confesses. “I have since I was a kid and I will until I take my last breath. You are my family, my home. I’m sorry it took so long to come back to you, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
I don’t even realize I’m crying until Miller gently wipes away the tears with his thumbs. He looks at each one like it is a personal affront to him and it almost makes me giggle.
“I love you too, Miller.”
