Page 21 of Scarred Temptation

Roman mulled over what I’d said and he became as tense as I’d remained. “I ya budu chtit’ yeyo vsey svoyey zhizn’yu.”

And I will honor her with my life.

I’d never had any doubt of that. My brother would lay down his life in exchange for hers. Or mine.

As he left, I hung my head, finally allowing the heavy emotion to breach the surface. There was nothing worse than feeling helpless, something I’d never handled well.

Years ago, I would have reacted with a different level of fury, pretending as if the incident was a game that I had every intent of winning. I would never second guess how many people died to gather information or while exacting my wrath.

There would be no hesitation in spilling blood on every street in the city.

All for the love of the hunting.

Everything was different now, more calculated. Not only because my business model had changed over the years, but also because I had to be more cautious.

Some might say because I’d lost my nerve.

Bullshit.

I’d simply been violently indoctrinated into understanding what was most important in life, and it had nothing to do with power or money.

For years I’d built walls and protections, sacrificing anything outside of business to maintain a distance. There were only two people who’d witnessed any emotion and even with Roman only as necessary. When I’d managed to drag myself from the mud, I’d been struck by lightning once again, certain I’d lose Mina.

Maybe there was a God after all.

While I’d most certainly go to hell after everything I’d done, my sweet daughter was an angel who deserved only the best out of everything.

Including her father.

And I intended on making certain that happened. No matter how much blood needed to be spilled.

Even after all the layers of security and reaching the pinnacle of success, I’d learned the hard way love of any kind painted a target. The deepest of emotions were prey for monsters with no moral code or conscience.

I’d once thought of myself as just such a man. I’d been told as much and not by a colleague or employee paying a compliment. It had been said in anger less than an hour before my world had stopped turning.

Now I was having doubts about what kind of man I’d become.

But I knew what I was capable of including extreme acts of violence.

Normally, my office brought a sense of comfort, a place where I could let my hair down as I’d often heard said. When inside, the house and every concern involving business quickly faded, leaving only a peaceful silence behind.

With the dark stained wood of my beloved mahogany desk I’d had hand carved in Italy as well as the incredible view of lush greenery, I found myself able to relax more than in any other room.

Except for maybe Mina’s bedroom. How could a man, no matter how dangerous his business, not relax in a space crafted for a Russian princess? Or maybe I should say a mermaid princess. I laughed softly even as my chest tightened.

Over the years, I’d prided myself in my organizational skills, which had allowed for quiet moments of relaxation. Anything challenging the perfect structure was unacceptable. I had my reasons for being so rigid in the face of the daily peril facing me or my daughter.

The ugly truth was that I couldn’t handle anything else. Every day needed to be similar to the one before or all the controls I’d established would be crushed by my deadly hands.

And by my heavy guilt.

Even my feet felt heavy as I walked toward my fully stocked bar, one of the few luxuries I allowed myself. Why was my hand still shaking as I poured another whiskey?

Adrenaline?

Or the need to exact a heavy hand of revenge?

Footsteps going a million miles an hour grabbed my attention only seconds later. An automatic smile crossed my face from an excitement that only came with seeing my daughter’s face. For Roman to think I’d punish her after she’d been left alone was as unbelievable as it was painful.