Page 73 of Ravaged For You

“Okay,” I reply. “I think I need to sit down first.”

32

MADDIE

Make some time for myself. Yep. Sure. I can do that.

I mean, I do need to stop thinking about the minor fact that my face is on global news right now. Some time to myself without checking the internet or the TV seems like the correct thing to do.

My own flipping face kissing Axel.

Okay. I’m also not going to think about that.

Lucas has gone, leaving me all alone in the hotel suite. Axel will probably be rehearsing with Ravaged for the rest of the day. Other than some light non-urgent publicity work, there’s not much for me to do. So, I run myself a bath in the suite’s massive bathroom.

Time for myself.

My phone beeps.

I should check it, shouldn’t I?

Could be an emergency or something.

I have a quick peek at the phone’s notification, even though I really know I shouldn’t.

It’s Marie from work.

Um, excuse me, Maddie. Am I seeing what I’m really seeing? You’re with Axel freaking Stoll? No way, no way, no way. Please tell me I’m dreaming. How the hell has this happened? What did you do? What’s he like? I thought you didn’t like him? WTF??? Please reply. Please, please, please.

I can’t help but smile reading the message. Poor Marie must be experiencing one hell of a whiplash opening up her social media and seeing that. One minute she’s taking me to see a band I don’t even know the name of, the next I’m kissing the bassist on national news.

What can I even say back to her?

It’s been a rollercoaster, Marie! I’ll let you know when things have settled down. We’ll grab drinks sometime, yeah?

She messages me back immediately.

Okay, fine. Be super mysterious like you are at work. I can’t believe it. It was my dream to hook up with a rockstar backstage, but you’re living the dream. You rock, girl! I need to hear the full story when things are better for you. Make sure you don’t forget the little people like me when you’re rich and famous!

I chuckle. That’s a very loud Marie message to send.

There is a pang of guilt, though, in the pit of my stomach. This is all fake, isn’t it? The relationship… the press around it… All fake. All of it will be gone in a year at most, and then I’ll be back to my normal existence as regular old Maddie Leaver from the boring suburbs of Wisconsin. Your average girl-next-door who could never in a million years date a rockstar.

Okay, stop thinking about everything at once and just calm your mind, Maddie. Chill the fuck out.

The first thing to do is turn off my phone, just as Lucas told me to. I throw my phone onto my bed, far away from the bathroom, and then light myself a few scented candles to take to the bath. I turn on the music, and then I find my vibrator.

Me time. Alright.

I step into the inviting warm embrace of the hot bubbling bath. I practically sink into it with a long, happy sigh.

After a moment spent luxuriating in the water, I reach for the vibrator I’ve placed so conveniently next to the bath. I need to block out the rest of the world, and this is the best way to do that.

I start to slowly touch myself as my mind goes blank. Everything becomes still, but also incredibly heightened as I give in to my deepest impulses. No one can penetrate the calm bubble around me. I’m totally alone and there’s no judgment here.

My body shivers with pleasure as I bring the vibrator to bear exactly where it feels best. I close my eyes and my consciousness starts to drift as my body glows from the inside.

My mind wanders to what I’m desiring most.