Page 159 of In Between Death and the Devil

The notes in my chest went dissonant as my bond with Fen pulled taut. I grabbed my chest and fell to the side, bracing myself on one hand.

Movement outside the dome caught my eye, and I looked up to see Fen do the same. His fear was so intense it threatened to smother me.

Death nudged me off of her and sat up. She held something in her hand that shimmered—our Death Chord, I realized with a jolt. “Finally.”

My eyes widened. Was this her plan all along, to get close enough to me to grab it, and use it against us? I didn’t even know that was possible. “You never wanted me to surrender, did you?”

“It would have been easier, but it wouldn’t have given me access to Fen’s power.” She shrugged, and my lips parted. “Don’t look so surprised. You’re smarter than that. Did you really think my offer of the judgment of Colt’s soul was serious?” She scoffed.

Daphne had said the same thing; she just hadn’t known what Death’s play was.

“You wanted me to challenge you. For this.” I shoved the words through gritted teeth. The feel of her hand on our Death Chord was wrong in a way that set every hair on my body standing on end.

Death stood and shoved me with one of her feet until I toppled onto my back. “You’ve seen a soul shredded, but have you ever seen one shatter?” She gave the Chord another squeeze, this one long and unrelenting.

The pain was all-consuming, blotting out everything else. Black spots dotted my vision as I heard Fen bellow. His pain radiated through our bond.

“You can’t kill him,” I gasped out. “The In Between needs him.”

“Who said anything about killing?” Death asked. “Shattering a soul doesn’t destroy it. He’ll be there physically. Mentally, not so much. Same as you.”

The idea of Fen as a shell of himself drove me to sit up, to stop her somehow, but she yanked on the Chord, and I collapsed back onto the ground with a cry.

“I’m the only one who knows what the In Between needs,” Death said with a grim smile. “I’m going to shatter you both. Then I’ll transform you into a salamander, put you in a vivarium to serve as the anchor, and everything will be fine.”

“All you had to do was go to the After.”

Death hissed. “I’m needed here.” Naked fear flitted across her face for a moment, and I suddenly saw her in an entirely different light.

Instead of an angry goddess, I saw a woman not that different than myself. Breaking the bond with her Devil would have been agonizing. To be willing to kill the person she loved to avoid the unknown of following him into the After… Terrified isn’t a strong enough word for what she must have felt. Had to still feel. For the first time, I felt sorry for her.

“Save your pity,” Death said, seeing my expression shift. Her hands glowed as she gripped the Chord and started to squeeze.

It felt like the very essence of me was being ripped apart, worse than when the bridge broke. This was the end, I was sure of it. There was no way out. How could I defend myself when I couldn’t function?

I felt Fen on the other end of our bond, our Death Chord, reaching for me. His agony was as great as mine.

Anger swept through me, turning the pain red hot. Anger and fear. Fear that I’d never get to tell Fen I loved him again. Fear for Titus, Marcus, Daphne and Bea. Fear for the realms and all the souls in them. Even if Death’s maniacal plan worked and the realms didn’t implode, her continued reign would be a hopeless one. There would be no mercy for souls, no grace. And without Fen to help them, they would be stuck in eternal punishment instead of being given the chance to work through their shadows.

Even though I’d known this outcome was a possibility, it felt unfair. Wrong. Balance was supposed to win out. I was supposed to take Death’s place so Fen and I could rule the In Between. As a bonded pair, we should have been stronger than her, but it didn’t matter. She had her knee on our throats. After everything we’d been through, to have it end this way felt like such a waste.

I was tired of being afraid. I’d held the possibility of becoming Death at arm’s length because part of me was convinced it could never happen. Same with Fen. Even when I’d surrendered my body to him, fear had kept me from allowing our bond to encompass all of me. As if by holding some part of me back I could save myself pain. Keep myself safe. But it hadn’t worked. In the end, there was no way to escape it.

With nothing left to lose, I bowed my head and let my last barriers fall. I let my desire for a future with Fen, the desire to be Death, and everything that meant, suffuse my entire being. Fear snarled and scratched at me, trying to hold it all back, but I ignored it. Deep down, I knew this was right. Even if this was the end it didn’t matter, I wanted to embrace this. I wanted to let it all in, let Fen in at least once.

Reaching back to him across the bond, I surrendered completely, letting his soul wrap around mine.

The moment our souls touched, the pain faded.

Shadows surrounded us, sinking in. My soul gently unraveled, until shadows were the only thing holding me together. I could feel the same thing happening to Fen. Death, an ending, crept in. Soft and welcoming, so different from the pain that still held us in its grasp. Time stretched, everything slowing until it stopped altogether.

Then life blossomed, a rebirth, bright and warm. It filled the cracks between us, solidifying our connection.

Light and dark melded.

Power surged. The well in my chest where I’d first felt it filled to overflowing. It wasn’t Fen’s, which tasted of his shadows. This was pure light, full of potential. The power of Death.

The three notes that hummed in my chest were joined by a fourth, the Chord now complete. I felt it, entwined with every fiber of my being.