Page 60 of Only Fangs

“You know what I mean. Like she isn’t a pureblood lunatic. Oh my god. What if she is?”

“I don’t think she is,” I reassure him. “But seriously. What’s the gossip about Andrei Hele? Like the official vampire inside knowledge.”

Matt breathes out heavily. “How the fuck would I know?”

“Because you are, at least the last time we checked, a vampire.”

“Touché,” he concedes. “But it isn’t like I know many vampires. In fact,” he points a finger at me, “you might know more than I do. Oh. My. God.” He elongates each word and sits back in his seat. “You’re actually closer to shagging a vampire than I am.” He picks up his mug and chuckles softly into his coffee.

“What about Ivan?”

“I think he just wants to be friends.”

“He definitely wants to be more than that,” I tell him. I might not be an expert in much that’s vampire related, but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

Matt flaps his hand as if it doesn’t really matter. It’s an act but I let it go. And instantly regret my choices when he starts chuckling again. “Holy shit. You know I hadn’t thought about that before. You’re actually going to pop your vampire cherry.”

I can feel my blush deepening, turning my cheeks a brilliant scarlet you could probably see from space. “It isn’t like that. I don’t fancy her.” But the words sound thin in my ears. We both know it’s a lie.

“Of course not.” He winks theatrically at me.

“Besides, she doesn’t feel that way about me.”

“Which is obviously irrelevant given you don’t like her anyway.”

“Obviously.”

He stares at me for a few moments and then picks up his phone, unlocking it with his fingerprint. “So. Shall we see what Reddit has to say about Clara’s old man?” he asks.

“Why is your answer always Reddit?”

“Because Google is a trash fire and people on Reddit are not all incel lunatics like the people on Twitter.”

“X,” I correct him.

“Whatever.” He says in the same sarcastic tone as the mean high school girls of mid-90s movies. His mum was a huge fan of Clueless and Matt grew up with Alicia Silverstone and Brittany Murphy as honorary babysitters while she was at work.

“Ooh…” he says on an outward breath. “Reddit is lit up with stories about Andrei Hele.”

“What’s the consensus?”

He puts his phone down and stares at me. “It’s Reddit: there is no consensus.”

“Fair enough.”

He picks the phone back up. “So there’s a group who think he is the vampire equivalent of Elon Musk. But in like a good way.” He makes a face that says he does not share their opinions. “And there’s a group who think he’s the spawn of Satan.”

He leans forward, nose mere centimetres from the phone screen as if that will help him understand what he’s reading. “No. Like, literally the spawn of Satan.” He glances up at me. “Some people think he might actually be the original vampire.”

“Vampire zero?”

“The ‘True Father’.”

“Wow, now that is a title.” I grimace a little. It has a certain connotation to it and it doesn’t sit very well.

“Yeah. I think we’re thinking the same thing.” He returns the grimace before he continues to scroll. “Oh wow. There’s a whole thread about it.” He scrolls for another minute before he snaps his head up to look at me. “Promise me that you’ll be careful.” He sounds serious. Deadly serious.

“Of course.” I swallow. “What does it say?”