Page 17 of Only Fangs

“It’s nothing. It’s just money, you know.” I make a face. I say you can’t lie to your best friends, but you can just not tell them certain things. Like quite how broke I am. Like what will happen if I can’t turn round my financial situation. And quickly. “But anyway, let’s not talk about work stuff.” I flap my hand as if to say that none of it matters and it’s all just a little too boring to discuss.

“What about that cute little piece of ass you hired?” Ivan asks.

“He’s good. At the coding and stuff I mean.” I reply.

“You like him.” Ivan is on his feet and standing in front of me in a flash.

I recoil slightly. Sometimes he really has no concept of personal space. “I don’t.”

“Yes you do. You can’t hide anything from Uncle Ivan, you know.”

“I don’t.”

“You keep lying to yourself.” He picks up Clara’s phone and holds it out so she can press her thumb against the bottom of the screen. Fun fact, vampires can’t use facial recognition for security on our phones and stuff, so we’re stuck in this weird limbo of the iPhone 8, like we’re frozen in time. Clara’s father has lobbied Apple to sort their shit out before we become what he calls “imprisoned in a technical drought” but so far no luck.

Ivan chuckles a few times as he taps on the screen.

“What are you doing?” I ask.

“Asking your new fancy man and his flatmate to join us for a drinkie.”

“You can’t do that.”

“Why not,” he pops a hip as he stares me down.

“It’s workplace harassment,” I tell him, raising an eyebrow with righteous conviction.

“So don’t harass him then.”

Chapter 10

Brody

I’m already in my pyjamas and lounging in front of the TV eating Wotsits dipped in ketchup when Matt gets a message.

“We’re going out,” he says, turning to look at me from his spot on the other side of the corner sofa.

I don’t even answer, just wave a hand up and down myself. This is not the picture of a man who’s desperate to leave the house.

Matt huffs. “So, you remember Clara?”

“Ari’s friend?” I ask, my interest suddenly piqued.

“Yeah. We swapped numbers. She said she could introduce me around a bit, you know.” He does this funny little shoulder shrug, as if it’s all nothing at all.

“Introduce you to…?”

“Just like other vampires and stuff.” Again with that casual nonchalance.

“But you always said you didn’t want to hang out with them.” I don’t add that he always promised it would be the two of us against the world and this sounds very much like he’s looking for new friends to hang out with.

“I know. But… it’s just.” He can’t look at me.

I try not to let the hurt and disappointment wash over me. It isn’t fair and I’m acutely aware of it. Of course I knew the promises we made as kids would eventually unravel. It isn’t Matt’s fault he’s a vampire and he’s going to stay this age now, almost as if he’s frozen in time as I continue to get older. He needs vampire friends, people he can go clubbing with when I’m fifty and can’t bear the music anymore, people who will still be around when I’m gone. There’s nothing like having a vampire best friend to make you fully cognisant of your own mortality. But my job isn’t to make this all about me. It’s to be his wingman as he meets these new vampires, make sure they aren’t going to be dicks to him, that he’s safe and happy. So I take a deep breath and paste a smile across my face.

“Clara asked me if I was into girls or boys,” Matt says, keeping his voice low, with that same hideously artificial nonchalance as before. He must realise I see straight though him. “And so I said boys, obviously. But that I don’t date. And then she went kind of quiet…” he trails off for a moment. “And then she asked me if I knew Willoughby.”

I snap to attention at the name.