Page 14 of Only Fangs
“Is Only Fangs a niche app?”
“How many people in the general population are vampire?” I ask.
“About one in a thousand are born vampire.”
Oh. It was actually a rhetorical question, I wasn’t expecting her to know the actual numbers. “Clara’s father is a bit of a vampire-purist,” Ari explains, making a face so I can be in no doubt of what she thinks of this view. “He likes to drop statistics over Sunday lunch.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
She rolls her eyes.
“But, OK. So one in a thousand means there are like sixty thousand vampires in the UK.”
“Closer to a hundred thousand,” she corrects. “We don’t die remember.”
“Good point.”
“And probably half of us are single. Or in open relationships. They’re kind of popular.” She says it like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth. I want to ask more questions but it seems too intrusive, like I’d be prying. No matter that I really really want to pry.
At lunchtime I offer to head out and get us some lunch. I need to get some fresh air after being shut in that flat all morning. I don’t mean to judge but Ari lives like a student and her flat isn’t exactly set up as even a makeshift office. I mentally add it to the list of things we need to think about. It’s a long list but I’ve never shied away from a challenge.
I ring Matt as I stand in the queue of Sangers, the sandwich shop a few streets from Ari’s place.
“How’s it going?” he asks.
“Great,” I reply.
“As in a Brody-great, or a normal-person-great?”
I’m prone to positivity, but Matt has learned over the years that it can sometimes stop me from being honest about a situation. Not to mention the number of red flags I miss, especially with potential girlfriends.
I breathe out audibly. “I’m not sure.”
“Tell me everything.”
“I just don’t think she realises how much work this is going to take. Or how much cash she’ll need to invest to get it off the ground.”
“She’s an OG, right?”
“A hundred and seventy something.”
“Exactly. So, she’ll be minted. They all are. Imagine if you’d had a century and a half to amass a fortune.” Matt has always said he’ll be rich one day. There’s an absolute confidence behind that conviction and I know he’ll prove himself right. Eventually. It would probably help if he actually thought a little about what he wanted to do, but he’ll get there. He has plenty of time after all.
“Hmmm. Here’s the thing. I don’t think she is minted.” I don’t think minted women do their own nails at home, but I don’t tell Matt about that. It feels… well, personal. Like I’d be betraying her trust to tell him that kind of thing. I love Matt with my whole heart, but he can be a bit of a gossip and something tells me Ari likes her privacy.
“I’m sure she has a plan.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I inject some positivity into my tone. “And besides, this app is going to be so much fun.”
“Promise I can be one of the guinea pigs?”
“I thought you didn’t date vampires,” I remind him. He’s had this rule since we were teenagers. It was a difficult time for Matt – I mean, being a teenager is hardly a walk in the park for anyone – but it’s when his vampire self really showed itself. And then the realisation he was gay. And then… well, I keep my friend’s secrets, but some vampires have zero morals and think everything in life is one big game and who cares who gets hurt in the process. There was an older guy, real age probably not dissimilar to Ari, who went into total stalker mode. Luckily nothing happened and eventually the creep fucked off to find a new target, but it totally destroyed Matt’s desire to date other vampires.
There’s silence on the other end of the line and I wonder if Matt is thinking about Willoughby too.
“But you can help me with the UX,” I tell him, hoping to break him from his reverie. It isn’t healthy for him to linger over that specific set of memories.
“UX?”
