Page 5 of Riding the Reaper

“Something like that.”

“And why this job?”

“I wanted to keep one foot in the living world. This was the only way to do that. It’s not for everyone. But the hours are flexible.” He looks up at the moon. “Nineteen minutes, by the way.”

“I can’t believe you still have to work after you die. Will this shit never end?”

He chuckles, a deep rumble that’s warmer than I expect. “Tell me about it.”

“So, since you’ve got this human form and all…” I gesture vaguely at him. “You feel things? Like, you get cold? Hungry?”

“Physically, yes. The senses are dulled compared to yours, but I feel the cold. I don’t need to eat, though.”

“What about horny?”

His head tilts. “The instinct no longer exists. The memory of it does.”

“So you remember wanting to fuck people. What that felt like.” I lean forward. “Do you still have a dick?”

“That’s an unusually direct question, Sam.”

Got him. A crack in the whole cosmic-administrator shtick.

“Yeah, well.” I shrug. “I’m a pretty direct guy.”

He’s quiet for a long moment. “Yes. I possess the physical anatomy of a human male.”

“It works?”

“Functionally, I assume so. There’s never been a reason to test it.”

Wow.

“A whole eternity of no hard-ons,” I say, shaking my head. “And I thought my night was bad.”

“It has its advantages. You’d be surprised how much work you get done without libido muddying the waters.”

“I guess. But also, what a waste.”

“A waste?”

“Dude, look at you. You’re like six-seven, built like a brick shithouse, that deep-ass voice. And you’ve got a dick you’ve never used?” I let out a low whistle. “That’s criminal.”

Those eyes under the hood lock onto me. “You’re not taking this seriously.”

“I am.” I take a step closer. “You said to use my last minutes wisely, right?”

“I did.”

“You wanna know why my ex-girlfriend dumped me?”

He’s quiet, waiting.

I lick my lips. My heart’s hammering. Am I really going to say this out loud? To a stranger?

Fuck it. Brianna’s gonna tell people. Everyone’s gonna find out anyway.

“Because I asked her to fuck me in the ass with a strap-on.”