Page 10 of Offside

In a way that I did not like.

My phone felt heavy in my pocket as I tossed my bag down, fishing it out to stare at the empty screen.

I was so generic with people that I still had the default background on my phone–like someone seeing a picture of my family or a fucking cute dog or something was too much of a window into me.

I was annoyed with myself.

So…maybe that was why I downloaded the stupid app.

Honestly, I downloaded it the night Thayer mentioned it in his kitchen, but I never opened it. It finished downloading, and I stared at it for a while, like maybe I would open it, but I just hid it in a private folder on my phone and tossed the idea away.

But then here I was, alone in Toronto, staring at the stupid pink X icon, like maybe I would actually do something with it this time.

It wasn’t going to give me what I wanted–it wasn’t built for that…but maybe it could give me something.

I tapped on the app, dropping to the edge of my bed while it opened up in a flurry of colors mixing.

Haha–Mixr. I got it.

The very first question was easy–just asking me to sign in or sign up.

Felt easy enough to hit sign up, and it didn’t even ask me for my name or anything. It asked me to pick a username and to put in my age, but nothing about where I was from or what I did or…anything.

It was really easy until the big, looming question was finally asked.

What are you looking for?

Great question, honestly. I really didn’t know, but my confusion only got deeper when I had to scroll through options–so many options. I mean, every kink under the sun was on there–if you wanted to try it, it was there waiting for you.

And you could pick multiple.

My thumb started moving on its own, scrolling through to the S to find straight. It was like muscle memory…but then I found it.

And hesitated.

It just…it didn’t feel like the right answer, and I couldn’t explain why. I didn’t understand why clicking straight felt like I was lying to the binary code, but I also couldn’t explain why scrolling back up to the B felt better.

Or why clicking on Bisexual felt a little easier than Straight.

And why it was only a little.

It didn’t require much more of me–just writing a quick bio and uploading some pictures. I just scrolled through my camera roll and found one of me in Cancun this summer, zooming in so it was just my torso–no identifying marks.

The bio was next, and all I came up with was–I don’t even know why I’m here, and I probably won't respond.

I know, I know–real enticing, but it was true. I had no idea what I was hoping to get out of this, and the likelihood that I just never opened this app again was high.

Before I could even blink, I had a message. A little red dot blinking next to the message icon…

That I clicked out of curiosity–what on my profile drew someone to me? It was like the least enticing profile.

ScruffyGuy: Hey.

It was a normal message–I wasn’t put off by it. I clicked his profile and nearly got whiplash from flinching because I thought it was like taboo enough to be on here, but who made their profile's main photo a picture of their dick?

Another message.

HungryBottom21: You top?