Page 11 of Offside

What?

Who just asked that?

Like, what real human just clicked on any old profile and typed that out–that’s not fucking real. That was a scam or something–I was so sure of that.

Everything about the app was as off-putting as I thought, leading me to lock my phone and toss it away as fast as humanly possible.

I didn’t want to see that screen for a while.

Anxiously, I stood up, looked around, looking for anything to do, and settled on a shower.

It was just a reset and something to level me back out, but when I got out, I didn’t feel any better. I still felt anxious and nervous–I needed to delete the fucking app.

I wasn’t going to sleep till I did.

As soon as I was out and dressed, I snatched up my phone and audibly groaned at the now twenty-seven new chats I had waiting for me. I didn’t even want to look at any of them, but the app forced you to have no unopened messages before you could make your account unavailable.

And in the mess of Heys and not-at-all-subtle hook-up requests, I had exactly one message that made me pause.

BaskarKnight: Metal like Black Sabbath, or metal like you have a surprise piercing somewhere?

It was dumb and a little forward, but it made me snicker.

The name I’d chosen for myself was MetalMonkey.

Chapter 5

Landon

Traveling sucked for so many reasons, but it was freeing in its own right. I never let myself out to play at home, but on the road?

I could match with a guy here, jerk off through videos with him, and then never have to worry about running into him at the grocery store or something. I'd never show him my face, and even if he showed me his, I’d never see it again–it was perfect.

Honestly, I’d scrolled through the best Toronto had to offer and wasn’t all that interested–at least until MetalMonkey popped up randomly…like he got on just for me.

I was a big fan of the one picture, closing my mouth so I wasn’t drooling on my phone with one of our rookies watching from the other bed, but it was the bio that did me in.

I loved a challenge, and he seemed like he was just egging me on.

If it was intentional, he was a tease, and that was hot, but if it was an accident?

He was just my favorite flavor of fun.

MetalMonkey: Nailed it on the black Sabbath. No surprise piercings, though–sorry to disappoint.

Ahh, and see! He was just my flavor of man.

BaskarKnight: I’m an appreciator of all metals, so surprise or not, I will still be intrigued.

And to think, I was just about ready to close out of the app and try again in Pittsburgh.

MetalMonkey was slow with replies, but I loved seeing his typing icon appear and disappear, only to reappear again. God–it was like the best game, holding me on the edge of my seat for what he’d finally come up with.

MetalMonkey: I’m not showing, so.

Oh.

Oh no.