Page 49 of Rivals and Liars

"Did I wake you?" Leire's eyes go wide the instant she sees Kate sitting up, because she tried so hard not to make a sound.

She had slipped out of the room quietly and gone down to the restaurant to order in person rather than call from the room, not wanting to have to talk and disturb her; then she'd waited in the hallway until the food arrived so she wouldn't have to knock.

"No—I don't think so," Kate answers, genuinely unsure what finally opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I tried not to make any noise. I just wanted you to have food when you woke up. How do you feel?"

Leire walks toward the bed.

"Starving," Kate smiles, still a little disoriented. "I didn't think I was going to fall asleep—what time is it?" She rubs her eyes. "God, it feels like I have two balloons for a face."

Leire laughs, cups Kate's chin, and makes an exaggerated grimace.

"You kind of do. They're swollen and red. Go splash cold water on your face and I'll finish setting the table."

"You still haven't told me what time it is."

"You slept about four hours."

Kate, who had just gotten to her feet, spins around to look at her.

"Four hours?" Her expression is so comically stunned that Leire can't hold back a laugh as she nods. "Why didn't you wake me?"

The lightness leaves Leire's face.

"Because you needed it. Today was…" She glances up for a second, searching for the word. "A lot. You went through so much. Having to say goodbye to tennis because of an injury—that has to be devastating, Kate. And lately I haven't exactly helped." Her expression darkens. "Actually, I haven't helped at all. I've only made all of this harder for you."

Kate looks at her and bites her lip as she nods.

"Yeah. It has been hard," she confirms.

"I'm so sorry."

"I know." Kate rubs her eyes and turns toward the bathroom.

They eat without touching the big topics, talking instead about moments from the match, about what they felt while they were playing.

"That was probably the worst match of your career," Kate says, taking a sip of her sparkling water.

"I know. I couldn't focus. I swear I tried, but it was impossible. I'd look at you and just go blank—this fear settled into my body and I couldn't react."

"What were you afraid of?" Kate asks, trying to understand.

"The match ending. I was living every point like a countdown—terrifying, like up until that moment I hadn't let myself actually grasp what I'd lost, hadn't understood how much it mattered. And there I was, knowing it was the last time I'd be that close to you, and the fear got right into my bones. Suddenly I could see everything so clearly—more clearly than I'd ever let myself before." Leire can't eat; her stomach has closed.

"What did you see?" Kate eats for both of them, like her body has been running on empty for days.

"That my life without you doesn't make any sense. That I love you, Kate. I know I've said it before, but I never did anything to show it—the opposite, actually. Everything I did pushed you away."

The redhead goes still for the first time, because Leire has brought her own hands to her mouth and is taking a moment to steady herself, but her eyes were shining so brightly that Kate isn't sure she can hold back the tears.

"I'm sorry…"

"Stop apologizing, Leire."

"If you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life doing it," the Spanish woman says. "I never should have let fear control me like that—shouldn't have signed with Costel, shouldn't have listened to my father, shouldn't have let him…" She stops, a flash of anger crossing her dark eyes.

"Leire…"