Page 84 of How to Ruin a Rake

“Which is why I recommended the list. One wouldn’t want one’s actions to be misinterpreted.” He paused. “For example, am I allowed to ask how you are feeling, or is that too intimate a question? Am I permitted in your bed?”

“You are being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m attempting to find out how you intend to make this marriage work. The marriage you wanted in order to restore your family’s reputation.” Max met her gaze. “We are legally tied together and need to find a way to coexist.”

“Not if you go back to London and leave me in Somerset.”

“Is that what you want?” Max asked.

“It isn’t about what I want. It’s about giving you your freedom, because I married you to safeguard my family’s future.”

“How very self-sacrificing,” Max said. “And how insufferably arrogant of you to decide that you know what I want.”

There was a tense pause while she glared at him. “You’re the one who asked me to make a list.”

“Then go ahead and write one.” Max glared right back at her. “And, by the way, do you have any good novels in that reticule of yours? It appears that I’ll need something to do to pass the time.”

“Please, help yourself.” She dumped her reticule on the seat beside him.

“I suppose I should be glad you didn’t throw it at my head and knock me out again.” Max sorted through the books and took one at random. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Allegra snatched back her reticule and took out her embroidery, and they spent the next two hours of their journey pretending the other didn’t exist.

Allegra looked down at her embroidery and realized she’d have to unpick every stitch she’d set. She put her work away and sighed.

If she were being honest, she did enjoy Max’s company. Even during the worst hours of their Suffolk adventure, she’d come to rely on his strength and good humor to get her through some truly dangerous situations. Did she really want to be left in Somerset while he enjoyed the delights of London on his own? And then there was how he made her feel in bed. … ​Having tasted the delights of his lovemaking, how was she going to survive without him continuing to provide them to her?

Max was right. They did have to find a way to make their marriage work. The alternatives were unthinkable. The Devereux family would never agree to a divorce, and such a scandalous undertaking would undo all the good the alliance provided for the Musgroves.

But why couldn’t Max see that she wanted the best for him? She was offering him his old life back and yet he seemed insulted by the very idea. Did he really think that she should write a list of his duties? And why did she always feel as if she were on the defensive when she was making all the sacrifices for him?

She glanced across at him, but he appeared engrossed in his book. She took out her journal and a drawing pencil. If he wanted a list, perhaps she should prepare one for him, but where to start?

She turned to a clean page in her journal and started to write. Bedding is necessary to produce an heir if one is desired. Regular trips to London for the social Season to maintain the appearance of our relationship. Allegra tapped her lips with the pencil. What else?

Monthly meetings to go over our accounts, household bills, staffing, and other financial commitments.

Goodness, it was hard. … ​Allegra sighed and considered her meager list. There had to be more, but she couldn’t think of anything right now. She carefully tore the page out of her journal and read it again. It certainly wasn’t ready to show Max yet.

“I just had a thought,” Allegra said into the silence. Max didn’t look up, but she continued anyway. “Perhaps you should also write a list of the things you require of me, and then we can compare our findings and come to a mutual conclusion.”

“I’m not the one treating our marriage like a commercial arrangement,” Max said. “But if you insist.”

“Thank you.”

He set down his book and looked out of the window. “We’re approaching our first stop to change the horses. You’ll have plenty of time for refreshments if you require them.”

“Thank you,” she said again.

This became the pattern they followed for the rest of the day.

They made regular stops to change the horses, eat somewhat passable food, and then returned to the carriage to exist in relative peace. Allegra had never become accustomed to silence. In her household, getting everyone to stop talking long enough to hear someone else’s opinion was extremely hard. Not speaking to Max was harder than she’d thought.

As the sky began to darken around them, she risked clearing her throat, but he didn’t look up. “Are we near Reading yet?”

He held up a finger and kept reading, which was slightly annoying. When he’d finished at least two more pages, he finally looked up. “I do apologize. Emilia is trapped in a tower, and she’s just set fire to the bed curtains, and the dastardly Count Malvino is approaching.”

“I thought you didn’t approve of such novels,” Allegra said. “You said they made women fanciful.”