Page 33 of Bleed Me

CHAPTER EIGHT

6 months later…

Some people have the choice of whether or not to be evil. My choice was ripped away. I’m now vile to the core, and that makes me dangerous to all who love me. Only others as threatening as myself have the strength and guts to be by my side as despicable memories began to surface.

“Hold the Prospect down!” yelled Dagger.

In my club bedroom, I was on the ground, face first, foaming at the mouth, lost in memories that were so horrific it felt as if my mind were on fire. And the screams—the female screams—both in my present life and past, were blending together, creating a madness that glued itself to my spirit.

Was I ever to be the same? Or was this who I truly had been all along—who I had become after travesties too overpowering to survive without being damaged and disturbed, had altered my life.

Little green eyes were waiting for me in a once distant memory. One I had been running from. Little eyes begged me to come back to her—be daring enough to reenter the unforgivable circumstances she and I were forced to live. I believe she knew it was the only way to find answers to my present condition…

The little girl, five years old, huddled in the corner, covering her eyes like I told her to. Lying on my stomach in bed, I watched as her tiny shoulders shook through each of her sobs. Little bare toes curled over each other as if she was trying to become even smaller than she already was. I wished I could hide, too, but the man on top of me wouldn’t let me—

“I think he’s about to seize!” yelled my President, Lynx, yanking me from the memory. “I need something in his mouth!”

The only light in my dark room was from the hallway, through my open door. Stallion members were all around me, as one of the closest friends I had made at the club, Saint, came running into the room, asking, “What triggered him?”

“That’s a good boy, Kenny. I sure do wanna taste that sweet honey, but you being so good will buy Jenny—

Jenny. That name. I had heard that name spoken by—

“—more time. That’s right. Your little sister will have to wait.”

Still staring at the little girl, her hands finally fell just enough to show me the eyes I kept seeing, identical to mine. Jenny. Scared, her petite hand reached out for me as large fingers slide between my—

My Prez roaring, “Goddamnit! Flip him over!” snapped me back to reality, feeling hands all over me, forcing me to roll. “We need Doc, stat!”

“No!” Saint yelled. “He don’t touch the shit! I’m tellin’ you, this is not drugs! Jamie does this!”

Now on my back, my whole body tried to arch off the floor as I pulled my ass cheeks together, silently begging to not be invaded. My eyes rolled back in my head with the strain as patched brothers put their weight on me, trying to contain my internal explosion.

Justice came running into the room, her voice full of alarm. “What happened?” The Captain in her quickly assessed the situation and yelled at the only person she didn’t know. “Who the fuck are you?”

The girl, who thought sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night was wise, cried, “I’m so sorry—”

“Bitch, did you drug him?”

“No! No! Nothing like that—”

“Get the fuck out!” roared Justice. Imagining her ponytail flailing in the air as she pointed to the door had me calming slightly. I think imagining her at all was helping me see something other than the man—

My mind screamed for her, Justice! Justice! but my jaw was too seized up to let me open my mouth so I could call out to her.

“Sapphire!” yelled Justice. She was going through the line of those who knew me best to figure out what was happening.

“I’m here.” I was shocked to hear Saph was right next to me. She was crying. “I’m sorry. I was with Brat. I don’t know what happened!”

Brat was the patched brother I shared Sapphire with. He was half-dressed and helping hold me down as he told Justice, “Captain, I had no idea that bitch was sneaking in here.”

“Slutty whore!” screamed my friend. “Saint!”

“Not drugs! I swear it! He is experiencing the aftereffects of a trigger. Everyone on him is the worst thing we can be doing!”

He was right; everyone around me, panicking, touching me, restraining me, was sending me over the edge. All I wanted was Justice.

Justice!