Page 16 of Raging Fires

“Hey. I can’t help it that your ‘very sweet’ ex was named after his grandfather’s old dog.”

“It was a family name. The dog was named after his grandfather’s brother. As was Toby.”

“Or so he claims.” Jake raised his eyebrows at Howard.

Princess, who hadn’t stopped barking for so long that Jake was beginning to wonder if it was how she breathed, started pawing at the mesh in front of her and nosing against it. Kelli leaned down to look through the mesh and crooned, “Oh, isn’t she sweet? Can I hold her?”

“Uh, Kell, I don’t know if that’s a great idea.” Jake had visions of Princess bounding all over the room attacking everyone.

Of course Kelli paid no attention to him, and Howard was happy to get rid of the little fiend, so he unzipped the mesh. Jake tensed, ready to jump in and block the dog before she could bite Kelli. But Kelli held out her arms and Princess jumped right into them and started wriggling all over and kissing Kelli’s face. Kelli laughed and petted her, and they had a regular love fest going while he stood there gaping.

“Princess doesn’t much like men,” Howard told Jake.

“Yeah. I got that impression.”

Princess turned her head to bare her teeth at Jake and growl, then settled into the crook of Kelli’s arm and went to sleep. At least they could hear now.

“Congratulations,” Howard said and shook Jake’s hand. To Kelli, he said, “I apologize for bringing the dog to your wedding. But I got stuck with taking care of Princess because my wife’s spending the weekend at The Naked Woman.”

Kelli’s eyebrows shot up. Jake tried to signal her not to ask, but she again ignored him. She laughed. “I’m sorry; I thought you said she was spending the weekend with a naked woman.”

“Yeah. But it’s The Naked Woman.” Even Kelli had no response for that. Howard went on, “It’s this fancy spa in L.A., where they have Bade baths and a Bul Goma sauna and craniosacral therapy.”

Kelli’s blank face told Jake she had no more idea than he did what the man was talking about. “Um... I see.” Yeah, right.

“Mineral pools and cold baths and charcoal saunas and gold-and-caviar facials.” Howard was listing them on his fingers. “All the regular stuff like massage and exfoliation. Kelp wraps. Then there’s the mugwort steam treatment for the, uh—” Howard waved his hand vaguely downward. “—you know, lady parts.”

Jake tried to swallow a snort of laughter, which made him cough, but he couldn’t stop snort-laughing, so that he came out sounding like an asthmatic horse. Kelli was looking at him like she was trying not to bust out laughing too, opening her eyes real wide and pressing her lips together.

“You okay, guy?” Howard asked.

“Fine. . .fine…” Jake managed to gasp out.

Kelli reached over and slapped Jake hard on the back a couple of times. “Don’t mind him. He just gets like this sometimes. You were telling us about the spa?”

Jake was sure she said that just to bug him. Howard beamed, though, and went on, “Well, they have the clay rooms—red, yellow, and blue—and the mud bath. The infrared sauna, the frozen sauna, the Himalayan salt sauna... all that kind of stuff. They’re really into health. And taking off their clothes.”

“That’s really interesting,” Kelli said. She was good at this kind of people stuff. “But I’m sure you must miss her.”

“Yeah. I can’t wait to dump Princess Fleek on her.” Howard glanced around, aware of the people behind him, forming a sort of disorganized receiving line. “Well, hey, I’m holding everybody else up. Great to meet you, Kelli.” He gave Jake a thumbs up and walked away.

He left Princess with them. Jake started to chase him down, but Kelli seemed happy holding the little terrorist, so he stayed where he was.

Neil Moran and his wife were next up, looking like the perfect couple, with Cherneski and his glam blonde lady lurking behind them. Neil introduced his wife Stephanie and Jake introduced Kelli.

Kelli said she’d heard Stephanie was a writer, and they started talking about that, and pretty soon the women were chatting away like good friends, while he and Neil stood there like useless appendages. Jake saw a little gleam of amusement in the other man’s eyes that told him he was thinking the same thing.

But even while they talked, Stephanie’s eyes kept going back to their shirts.

“So, man, I gotta ask,” Neil shook his head, “Steph and I have been wondering all evening—the shirt? What is it about—your name is Riley, right? Is Kent Kelli’s last name? Is it a nod to the honeymoon? Are you two going camping after this?”

Jake looked down at his Kents do it in Tents shirt and laughed. “No. It was actually from a family reunion on my mom’s side of the family.”

Stephanie, who had started glancing over as soon as Neil asked his question, broke off in the middle of a sentence to Kelli. “So it’s an incest joke?”

“What?” Jake shook his head. “No! My Aunt Lucy had one of my cousins make them online.” He pointed out his aunt, who, as predicted, was now snoozing at a table in the corner.

“But… why? What were you doing in the tents?”