Page 14 of Ignition Rites

Her expression shifts. “What kind of condition?”

“I told him to keep his hands off until you knew what this place actually was and had enough information to decide what you wanted for yourself.”

“And now?”

“Now you know more than you did this morning.”

She watches me for a second. “That wasn’t the whole reason, was it?”

No point lying. She’d hear it.

“No.”

“What was the rest?”

I look down into the Camaro because engines have never once asked me what I want.

“I didn’t want to be one more guy deciding what you were worth before you’d had a chance to decide anything for yourself.”

The shop goes quiet except for the refrigerator humming in the corner. When I look at her again, she seems a little stunned.

“That’s not what I expected.”

“No?”

“No.” Her eyes drop briefly to the rag in my hand. “You sound nervous.”

A laugh gets out before I can stop it. “I’m not nervous.”

“You’ve been twisting that rag for five minutes.”

I look down at it and set it on the workbench. “Okay. Maybe a little nervous.”

That smile comes back, small but real, and she takes a step closer, close enough that I can see flecks of grass from the lawn she must have crossed still clinging to one bare foot and catch the smell of her hair through the oil and rubber.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah.”

“If Rafe hadn’t told me — if I found out later some other way — would you ever have said any of this?”

I think about giving her something easier, but she deserves better than easier.

“Probably not.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

“Would you prefer a lie?”

“No.” She looks toward the Camaro. “I still don’t know if I believe everything Rafe said. But then I think about my mom.” Her fingers disappear farther into the sleeves of the hoodie. “This afternoon I would’ve sworn she couldn’t know any of it. Now I keep replaying every time she’s changed the subject, every weird answer since the wedding, every time she’s looked at me like she wanted to say something and didn’t.”

“You think she knew?”

“I don’t know.” She shakes her head. “That’s the problem. I don’t know whether she lied to me or whether somebody lied to her too.”

There’s nothing useful I can give her there.

“You don’t have to figure it out tonight.”