Page 44 of Dancing With Guilt

Nick met him at the door to the penthouse, holding it wide open for Lincoln to see. “Have a look around, she’s not here, man.”

“Yeah, right,” Lincoln said, storming through the place until he finally had to admit Roxie wasn’t there. “Did she leave knowing I was on my way?”

“Not at all, as I said to you on the phone, I haven’t heard from her today.” Nick lounged against the wall, his face bland and unbothered. “You’ve obviously fucked up again, and if she hasn’t contacted me, then she doesn’t want to talk to anybody right now. The best thing to do is respect that.”

“Listen, I’ve had about enough of you. She lets you run your mouth about me, but I can’t do the same? Fuck you, Nick.” Lincoln started to walk away, but Nick chuckled a sound that just…irked Lincoln too much to ignore.

“No, fuck you, Lincoln. As I said, you don’t deserve her, and hopefully, she’s had enough of your bullshit now and will let me give her the life she deserves.”

Lincoln didn’t exactly mean to do it, but he didn’t do anything to stop the fist that was suddenly racing at Nick’s right cheek either. Nick took the punch, landed a few of his own, but Lincoln had the upper hand. Nick was pinned to the ground, Lincoln sitting on top of him when Nick spit out blood against the wall with a laugh.

“You really think this will impress her? You really don’t know anything about her, or the life she’s lived all these years, do you?” Nick continued to laugh and pushed Lincoln away. “Let me tell you a little bit about the Roxie you think you know.”

Nick went into the bathroom while Lincoln slouched against the wall. The fight was all out of him, and he had a feeling he deserved whatever Nick was about to tell him.

“I’ve known her for years now. She’s always beautiful, always happy, and you’d think her life is perfect, that she’s doing well. But on the inside? That girl has some serious baggage, baggage that you’re a part of. Can you imagine being her? Her parents were killed, she winds up pregnant and alone, doesn’t want to ruin your life, and is so afraid of whoever those men were that beat up her dad that she runs away, even from her child.” Nick’s voice was muffled as he ran water in the bathroom but became clearer when he came out with two wet washcloths and handed one to Lincoln. “She builds up a business for herself, maybe not the first career many women would think of, but she does alright, makes a name for herself, and keeps it together. She sends money to the kid she’s got hidden away, goes to see her when she can, then in you walk, larger than life, offering her the world on a platter.”

Nick went to a cabinet, poured out two measures of scotch into two glasses, and handed one to Lincoln, now that he’d wiped the blood from his nose and mouth. “Now, she’s got this guy, this know-it-all asshole who promises that he’s going to be better than the last asshole who used to knock her around and steal from her. That actually put her life in danger, then yours of course, I haven’t forgotten what Nathan did to you.”

Nick stood in his own hallway, looking down at Lincoln, obviously enjoying taking Lincoln down a notch or two. “You give her the stars and the moon, until you disappear. Then you come back and she’s, and I hate to say this because she didn’t say it, I could just see it in her eyes, but the girl was hearing wedding bells.”

Nick slid down the wall across from Lincoln, staring at him with a hate that Lincoln knew he deserved. “Then you throw her away.”

“That’s not what I meant to do.”

“But it’s exactly what you did. And I’m guessing whatever you did today was ten times worse if you have no idea where she is. So, what did you do this time, motherfucker?”

Lincoln wanted to punch Nick again for that last jab, but instead, he wiped his mouth with the washcloth, then his knuckles. “I told her the truth.”

“And that is?” Nick asked, his eyebrows up in question.

“I know who was behind her parents’ deaths,” Lincoln answered, not sure why, but spilling his guts anyway.

“I see. Yeah. That’s fucked up, Lincoln.” Nick nodded, took another sip of his drink, then let it dangle between his knees. “I reckon you’re just about fucked now.”

“What do you mean?” Lincoln sat up, slugged the drink back, and put the glass down, ready to go.

“You kept that information from her. I don’t see a way for you to come back from that after everything else you’ve done. Including taking her daughter from her, did I forget that part?” Nick looked up, as if thinking, then looked back down at Lincoln with obvious hate on his face. “Even if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Thanks for that, man.” Lincoln got up, done with the game Nick was playing, and made to leave.

“I can tell you this much, Lincoln. You need to figure it out. If you loved Roxie, you’d know where she is. And you wouldn’t be at my place, trying to beat the shit out of me.” Nick laughed again, a laugh that continued to mock Lincoln as he left the place, closing the door behind him.

Nick was right, Lincoln was fucked.

He had no idea where Roxie could be. He had a list of people she knew, places she might be, but was she off somewhere licking the latest wounds he’d inflicted on her? Which made him think about what he’d asked his mother earlier. What if he was like his father?

Okay, he’d never laid a hand on Roxie in anger, but emotional wounds lasted just as long, didn’t they? Because even though physical wounds might heal, the memories remained, and it was the same way with emotional scars. So yeah, he might not have hit her, but he’d hurt her, and he’d never forgive himself for that. Ever.

Lincoln drove home, hoping Aunt Katie or even Lily would have heard from her by now. Hours had passed, it was dark, and his phone still showed no contact from her. Before he went into the house, he called a number and waited for a voice to answer.

“Yes?” The voice asked and Lincoln spoke.

“Trace Roxie’s phone. When you have her, tell me where she is.” He hadn’t wanted to do that, but now he was worried. Now he’d started to wonder if he’d wasted too much time already.

Lincoln walked into the house and found Lily asleep on the couch with Katie in a recliner not far away. He looked at her questioningly, but she shook her head. Fuck. He nodded toward the kitchen and Katie followed him in there.

“I’m worried. She should have contacted you or Lily. Have you checked Lily’s phone since she’s been asleep?” Lincoln whispered, getting enough ice from the freezer to fill a bowl. He stuck his hand in it and sat down at the table.

“I have, and no she hasn’t contacted Lily either. Not since she fell asleep anyway. What is going on?”

Lincoln winced as the ice stung his skinned knuckles but relaxed when it began to soothe the ache away. “I’ve fucked up, excuse my language.”

“No problem. What do we do?” Katie asked, staring at the bowl and Lincoln’s hand in it.

“I call my people. We start searching for her. And if someone has her, they better hope I don’t find them.” Lincoln stood up with the bowl and headed up to his room. “I’ll be back down in a bit. I have some calls to make.”

Lincoln called Kai first, then Tanya to get her working on calling Roxie’s friends. They’d all become friendly when Lincoln was missing, so that wasn’t a problem. Kai was tracking her car and setting up a team to see if they could figure out Roxie’s movements since she’d left Lincoln’s house earlier that day.

Lincoln really wanted her to be holed up at Kitty’s or drinking her cares away in some dive bar downtown, but his gut told him that wasn’t going to be the situation. No, he’d been stupid, really fucking stupid over the last few days, and hadn’t paid attention to the things Roxie had said to him. Now he suspected she was in real trouble, far worse trouble than he’d been in with Nathan. Her life might actually be on the line, and he’d been too eaten up with jealousy and petty anger to hear what she’d said to him.

But please, he beamed out a desperate plea to the universe in general, if anyone is listening, please just let her be pissed off and drinking herself stupid and not where he suspected she was - In the clutches of a snake.

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