Page 42 of Dancing With Guilt

“My love-life is a mess, Lincoln, it always will be. I didn’t have your upbringing and I’ve done what I had to do in order to take care of my children. I’ve wanted the best for all of you, and I’m sorry if that made life hard for you, but you know? We’re all human, we make mistakes. Huge ones sometimes, especially when it involves our children and their safety.”

Lincoln suspected his mother knew everything about Roxie and Lily before she’d even arrived here, including how Lincoln had tossed Roxie out for not telling him about Lily.

“This Chloe woman, Roxie as she wants to be called now. She made choices when she was very young and very afraid, Lincoln. You’re a man now, but even as a young man you wouldn’t have understood the position she was in. I do, and I know why she made her choices. She made them for her daughter.” Ms. Young glared at him, letting a smidgen of anger show through. Yep, she knew everything.

“I really messed up, didn’t I?” Lincoln asked, not wanting to eat the food his mother now put in front of him, but she handed him a fork with a forceful look that brooked no argument. He began to eat while she sat across from him.

“You have, indeed. I wish you’d called me before you went and made a mess of all of this. I know I’m not the greatest with emotion, though I might be the coolest as you pointed out, but I’m not good at some things. I’ve had to hide a lot about who I was, what I am, to get where I am now. In order to survive, not to hide the truth from people. Men don’t have it as hard as women in a lot of situations, and I know where this young woman was and is coming from because I’ve been in her shoes. You messed up, Lincoln. You need to fix it.”

“But what if I end up like my father?” He asked, asking a question he didn’t really want to ask but needed to have an answer to.

“Lincoln, you are nothing like him, I can assure you of that. You are good, gentle, kind. You are a hard businessman, but when it comes to those you love, you have so much to give. You have an opportunity with this woman, a really good one, and a chance at true love. That’s something I’ve never had from a man, and I want all my children to experience it. If there’s a way to make this right with her, you have to. For both of your sakes. Don’t end up like me, please?”

Lincoln finished the food and moved the bowl away to take her hands. “I think it might be too late already, mother. I’ve messed up even worse. I didn’t tell her the secret I had been keeping from her.”

“Oh?” His mother asked, truly surprised. “What’s that?”

“I know who killed her parents,” he said bluntly, wiping his mouth with a napkin before he sat back to look at her. “I just need a little more proof before I go to the police.”

“Lincoln! How could you keep something like that from her?” His mother’s anger was sudden and fierce, much as Roxie’s had been. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose. One thing led to another, and the time was never right.” Which were the exact words Roxie had said to him when she tried to explain why she hadn’t told him about Lily.

Damn. He really had fucked this all up.

“That’s always the way.” Ms. Young nodded, understanding. “Still, you should have told her something.”

“I know,” Lincoln admitted, wondering how he’d make this right if Roxie wouldn’t answer him.

Ms. Young took the bowl, washed the dishes, and put everything away while Lincoln pondered what to do next. He’d made up his mind to go find Roxie by the time his mother had finished.

“Well, your daughter will be home from school soon and I would like to meet her under better circumstances. I’ll only be a phone call away.”

“You don’t want to meet her now?” Lincoln asked, confused.

“No, Lincoln. I want to meet her when her family is complete, and she can greet me knowing that I’ll be the best grandmother a child could have. I don’t want her to meet me when I’m another stranger who’s a threat to the life she knows.” She kissed the top of his head, patted his shoulder, and moved away. “You see? A mother always knows.”

“I guess you do, thanks.” Lincoln squeezed her right hand with love before she left the kitchen. He decided he’d wait for Lily to get home with Aunt Katie then he’d go find Roxie. His mother was right. It was time to make his family complete.

Without Roxie here, there wasn’t much of a family, and he wanted only the best for his daughter. That included having her mother at his side, in the relationship he’d wanted since he’d first loved her as Chloe.

20

Lincoln

“Where’s Mommy?” Lily asked as she came into the house, a smile on her face. “I want to tell her about my new friends. And my new teachers.”

“She’s not here, honey. She had to sort some things out, so I stayed here to wait for you.” Lincoln lied, hating himself for it, but he couldn’t really explain the argument with Roxie to a nine-year-old.

“Oh, I’ll tell her later then. Do we have apple juice?” Lily went to the fridge while Katie came in with bags filling her hands.

“There’s juice in the fridge, young lady. Hello, Mr. Young,” Katie said, putting the bags down.

“Hello, Katie, and please, call me Lincoln as I’ve asked,” he said kindly, noting how the woman’s cheeks were flushed with exertion. “You should have told me you had all that, I’d have come to help you.”

“Oh, it’s just uniforms for Lily and some clothes for when she’s not at school. I also got her some more school supplies and a few other things,” Katie answered and went to check Lily hadn’t made a mess with the juice. “I’ll take them up and put them away.”

“I’ll help you, Aunt Katie,” Lily said happily, and Lincoln smiled.