Page 34 of Dancing With Guilt

“You’re right, they have. They miss you, you know?” Wendy said, sniffing a bottle of shampoo before putting it in the bag and coming out of the bathroom. “I’m all done in there. I can’t see anything else that needs to go.”

“What is it your parents are actually doing, Wendy?” Roxie stopped folding clothes and looked over at her friend to see her holding out a hand, palm up.

“I don’t know any more than you do. I just know that there’s an agreement between my grandfather and some other guy. They saved each other’s life back in the day and they look out for each other now. That’s carried over to my dad and that’s about all I know.” Wendy put the bag with the rest of Roxie’s stuff by the door and sighed. “What else can we do?”

“You can tell me if they have any dealings with people in New York,” Roxie said carefully, an idea forming. Maybe she could find out who it was that had been after her parents and put a stop to all of this. End the hiding, the worry, and finally be able to live a normal life. Maybe even go back to her old name.

Wendy turned around slowly, her face an unreadable mask. “I don’t think you want to mess with anybody from New York, Rox. They’re the real deal up there and not to be fucked with. Seriously, don’t go looking for more trouble than you already have.”

“I’m not, just trying to see if there’s a way to deal with some of the trouble that I already have, as you pointed out.” Roxie closed the empty dryer and zipped up the suitcase. “I just thought I’d ask.”

“Sorry, I’m not used to talking about any of that, you know?” Wendy rolled her eyes at herself and came to hug Roxie. “I’m sorry I can’t help you with whatever that’s about. Those are dangerous people, seriously.”

“I know and thank you for looking out for me.” Roxie withdrew from the hug and put her right hand against Wendy’s tanned face. “You’re a good friend. I’m so glad I have you.”

“I’m glad you do too,” Wendy joked with a laugh and went to sit on the couch. “So, tell me more about this Nick guy. Are you in some kind of love triangle with him and Lincoln?”

“Nooooo!” Roxie protested and sat down with her friend, her hands hiding her face. “Nick would love to replace Lincoln. Lincoln’s finished with me, and I’m just bouncing around from place to place, trying to find my anchor again. Lincoln’s the man I want, but he doesn’t want me anymore. Nick is a really good friend, and he’d make someone a really good husband, but I’m not ready for anybody after all of this shit with Lincoln.”

“So why’s he single? If you’ve made it clear you don’t want him, why’s he hanging around, giving you a place to stay, all of that?” Wendy prodded, but not with malice. She only wanted to understand the situation better.

“I’m not leading him on if that’s what you think,” Roxie sighed, sitting back to look at Wendy with a face filled with sadness. “I’ve tried to make him understand I’m not the one for him, but he keeps hanging on, hoping I’ll change my mind. He tries to keep it at the friend level, but sometimes he oversteps that line. I don’t know what to do about it.”

“What if Lincoln doesn’t come around? Would Nick be an option?” Wendy poked a little further, a tiny smile curling the corners of her mouth up.

“I don’t think so. I mean he’s hot, smart, kind and so considerate,” Roxie paused as if confused about why she didn’t find him attractive in a romantic way. “He’s a catch really, but there’s something missing for me.”

“Danger maybe? Or wild sex? Or you’re just not that into him?” Wendy teased again, pulling at Roxie’s right hand with her own. “Whatever the reason, you know what you want and don’t want. He has to respect that.”

“He does, and he tries, but sometimes I’m just on the verge of screaming at him to stop it,” Roxie admitted, tightening her grip on Wendy’s hand. “Why are men such morons sometimes?”

“The same reasons we are, I guess.” Wendy rolled her eyes again before she continued. “I mean, we do a lot of stupid shit sometimes too, us women.”

“We do. Like fall in love with men that don’t want to be near us anymore,” Roxie answered quietly, as if she really didn’t want Wendy to hear, but Roxie knew she had when sadness clouded Wendy’s brown eyes.

“I’m sorry, my friend. I wish I could fix that. But the way you explained it, it made sense to me. I mean, you could have gone after him for child support and everything, but you didn’t. Most men would be happy about that.” Wendy dropped Roxie’s hand and pushed her black hair behind her shoulders. “You wanted to keep Lily safe, how can he not understand that?”

“He’s been through a lot lately,” Roxie protested, but Wendy shook her head.

“No, don’t make excuses for him. He has been through a lot but so have you, for a very long time, in fact. Hopefully, he’ll come around and see the light. If not, fuck him. Nobody’s good enough for you as far as I’m concerned anyway.” Wendy grinned and pulled Roxie in for another hug.

Roxie lost it then and tears formed in her eyes. Wendy loved her so much and that love overwhelmed her defenses. Sobs tore from Roxie’s throat as she let some of the pain she felt, the guilt she held, and Lincoln’s rejection all come flooding out.

Wendy held on, bless her, not letting go as Roxie’s tears flowed freely and she clung to her. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

“I know, honey. I can’t either, and when I see him again, I’m kicking him in the balls so hard he’ll never be able to get his dick up again, not without needing a crank of some kind,” Wendy said with vicious glee. “He won’t be able to fuck another woman ever again without thinking of me.”

“Oh, don’t do that.” Roxie gave a watery laugh and pulled away, wiping at her face with a tissue from the box on the table in front of her. “Just breaking his jaw might be better. Then he won’t be able to tell another woman he loves her or anything else.”

“I like that,” Wendy said and gave Roxie a questioning look. “Are you okay?”

“No, but I will be,” Roxie answered and stood up. “We can’t sit here all day fantasizing about what we’d do with Lincoln. I need to get over to the house and make sure Lily’s settled in.”

“She’s fine, Roxie. Katie is with her and so is Lincoln. Let her have some time with her dad. You need some time to get used to this new living situation too, you know?”

“I know.” Roxie heaved a sigh and let her head fall back. “I can’t believe I’m going back there without him.”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” Wendy pursed her lips and frowned at Roxie. “If he hurts you again, I really will crush his balls, Rox. I’m not joking.”