Page 20 of Dancing With Guilt

They sat quietly for a while, watching the surf crash and pound the shore. Nick made motions to get up after a while and excused himself. “I need to get back home and get to bed. It’s late.”

“Thanks for stopping by, Nick. I’m fine and will be, I promise.” Roxie brushed at his elbow with her hand and smiled. “It really will.”

“I hope so, for your sake. I only want what’s best for you, you know?” He looked unhappy for a second before his face cleared. “No matter what you do, or who you end up with. I just want to see you happy, Roxie.”

“Thank you, Nick. I wish the same for you.” Even if that meant she lost his friendship to some woman who wanted him all to herself. It would only be fair, she decided, he deserved a woman that wanted all of him.

“Take care, Rox, I’ll see you before I leave.” He waved goodbye, and she closed the door.

Roxie went to the couch and slumped down beneath a cover. The breeze was a little cool and she should close the door, but she liked smelling the salt in the air. It reminded her of being at Lincoln’s. Which wasn’t the smartest thing to remind herself of right now but fuck it. Why shouldn’t she drown in her misery? She was a grown woman, her bills were paid, for this month anyway, and she’d just been brutally…dumped?

That had to have been him breaking up with her. There was no point denying it, even if she wished it was all different. If he’d only let her tell him when he came home, but he hadn’t. She’d wanted desperately to tell him about Lily that night, but he wouldn’t have it.

Which reminded her.

Roxie picked up her phone and dialed a number.

“Hello?” Aunt Katie asked, a smile in her voice. “How are you, Roxie? Everything’s calmed down, I hope?”

“Kind of, but mostly no,” Roxie said with a frown. “Lincoln found out about Lily. He wants custody of her.”

“I see,” Aunt Katie said softly, and Roxie could just imagine the older woman biting her lip in worry. She always did that when something bothered her.

“Yeah, it’s not good. He has the power and the money to do just that. I don’t know what to do,” Roxie said to Katie for the millionth time in her life. Aunt Katie was the only one she’d had to turn to when she lost everything. To her credit, Aunt Katie never complained.

“We’ll do what we have to, what we must, honey, as we always do,” Aunt Katie answered using the comforting pet name. “We can’t fight a man or a family as powerful as they are. We’ll just have to try and fight for what we can.”

“I know. I’m just afraid of him taking her from you, of never seeing her again,” Roxie said the words she’d never expected she’d have to say.

If Lincoln had just let her tell the truth that night none of this would have happened. He’d insisted however and that had been a mistake for all of them as it turned out. “Part of me wants to tell you to pack a bag and I’ll come get you both. We could run for Mexico. He’ll have to find us first, demand a DNA test, and then file for custody.”

“You know that will only make things worse, honey. No, we have to stay here and face the music. Lincoln isn’t a bad man. He’ll come to his senses once the anger has eased a little. He knows you’re her mother. She loves you and taking her from you permanently will only make her hate him. I’ll tell him that myself if it comes down to it.” Aunt Katie might be sensible, and loving, but she wasn’t a total pushover. She just knew what common sense was and what wasn’t.

“I guess you’re right.” Roxie didn’t want to admit it, but that was the truth. She was going to lose custody of her daughter, but not right away. “For now, we’ll leave things as they are. I may come up there, I’m not sure yet. I’m still hoping there might be a way for me to fix this. I don’t know how, but I’m hoping.”

“If anybody can do it, it’s you, honey. I have faith in you.”

“Thank you, Aunt Katie. Kiss her goodnight for me.” Roxie knew it was already past Lily’s bedtime, but she also knew Aunt Katie would do just that.

“I will, honey. Good night.” Aunt Katie hung up and Roxie put the phone down.

So much was at stake, making the wrong decision now could prove fatal. It was best to do as Aunt Katie said and try to find a balance. Find a way to fix the unfixable, basically. But how?

10

Roxie

The next morning found Roxie holding a hand to her chest, trying to remember how to breathe. She’d just received a text notification from June and she was afraid to open it. Sitting at the little table on the balcony, a coffee cup full beside her, Roxie wondered if this was more trouble coming her way or if her one-time BFF was about to prove she was still just that.

Roxie inhaled a shaky breath and flicked the lock screen away to tap on the message. She really wished she had some peach gummies right about now. She could use something to gnaw on to ease her tension. Moving her eyes up to the screen, Roxie looked at the text and felt…relief.

Hey, I’m leaving town tomorrow and wanted to spend some time with you. Where are you?

The text was simple enough, there was no ‘you broke my brother’s heart, how could you, I’m going to break your face’ or anything else along those lines. Just a simple request to see Roxie before June had to leave.

Roxie typed in the address, afraid to say anything more. She’d been on the verge of tears since she woke up, her nerves too fractured and frayed to remain calm. The sound of seagulls as they swooped through the sky had made her burst into tears when she first settled into the wicker chair earlier. Now, actually typing words seemed to renew the threat of that happening again.

There’d just been too much thrown at her lately and even the slightest hint of more stress had her on the verge of chewing her nails down to nubs. Which was something, because she’d never chewed her nails before. But stress can make a person batshit crazy, couldn’t it? She thought, staring down at the phone screen.