Page 4 of Rough Night

"Sage? Dinner is ready,” Mia said softly from the other side of the door. She didn't enter which Sage appreciated. He didn't want to be seen so vulnerable and small in his bed.

"Thank you," he said, a bit dazed as he slowly woke up. "I'll be out in a minute,” he replied. Mia went back to the kitchen, wanting to make sure everything looked presentable. It was Sage's first proper meal since he got out of the well so she wanted it to be the best meal he could have.

Sage lay in bed for a while before he stretched his body. This time it didn't hurt so much and he was grateful. He knew he just needed the rest so his body could get back to its normal self and heal from the inside out. He decided to have a quick shower before going for dinner. Obviously he had been cleaned up while in hospital but he still felt dirty after everything.

"I'm just going to have a shower and then I'll be right there,” he called out to Mia, hoping she could hear him. He wasn't sure if she was waiting outside his door or not for a reply from him.

He switched on the hot water and waited for the bathroom to steam up as he always did. Once he was satisfied with the amount of steam that hung in the air he climbed into the shower. He stood still under the showerhead, allowing the fresh hot water rush over him. He smiled to himself. He never realized just how much he could miss having a shower but when he was getting covered in dirty cold water just days before it was obvious that fresh water was so much better. His body almost melted with pleasure. He would never take showering for granted ever again.

He washed every inch of himself, making sure to scrub at his skin until it was red and raw. He had been covered in dirt, urine and feces for two days which brought him a sense of shame and disgust. He felt as if he would never truly be clean again after that but that didn't mean he couldn't try. He washed himself twice, making sure he could be as clean as possible. He wanted to bathe in a tub full of disinfectant. He remembered how Mia had hugged him when she found him and he shuddered at the thought. He couldn't imagine what she thought of him finding him like she had. He would've been disgusted at the sight. He stepped out of the shower and changed into his own clothes considering the hospital had given him scrubs to wear. His clothes had been chucked away and there hadn't been anything else for him to wear. He felt almost himself again as he walked to the dining room to meet Mia for dinner.

"I'm sorry for the wait. I just wanted to shower quickly,” he said, when he saw her sitting at the table sipping a glass of water. He still wasn't sure if Mia had heard him the first time.

"Don't worry, that's alright. I'm sure it felt good,” she replied. He took a look at the table. He was impressed with how much effort she had put into it all. The table was set, with the food in a serving bowl in the middle. He hadn't had any of Mia’s cooking before and as his senses took over him the wonderful smell of food was almost too much. It took everything inside of him not to shove his face into the bowl filled with spaghetti bolognese which Mia had already mixed. He took a seat across from Mia as she offered him something to drink.

"Just some water please." He couldn't help but feel like royalty with the treatment Mia was giving him. He wasn't sure he deserved it after what he had put her through before the kidnapping and he felt guilty. She didn't seem to mind giving him the attention as she placed a glass in front of him and poured some iced water into it with a gentle smile.

"How are you feeling?" Mia asked as she took a seat after pouring him some water. She didn't want to baby him but she also didn't expect him to do everything on his own. She was okay with taking on the responsibility of helping him for a few days, just to make sure he didn't strain himself. She knew he was a strong man but everyone needed help now and again when they weren't able to help themselves.

"I'm feeling much better after my nap. My body doesn't feel 100 percent itself yet but I'm sure it'll be back on track in no time,” he replied. Mia was pleased to hear such a positive attitude from Sage, she would probably still be a wreck if the roles were reversed.

"I'm so glad to hear that. It must have been a lot to go through,” she said as she tip-toed around the topic gently, not wanting to make it obvious that she wanted to talk about it. She was desperate to know how he had been throughout the experience, he hadn't said much about it at all which for Mia was strange. Most people wanted to talk about their trauma, but Sage ignored it. She noticed that was a pattern of his, ignoring things around him.

"It was,” he stated, not leaving much room for the topic to go any further. It wasn't enough for Mia.

"You know, you can talk about it if you want. You don't have to keep it all inside to deal with alone. I'm here for you,” she said gently while she looked into his blue eyes. The feeling of love for him oozed out of her every pour. She could almost physically see it reach across the table and touch him, but luckily it was just her imagination.

"I know I can talk about it but I just don't want to," he said sternly. He always worked through things his own way and in his own time. He didn't need help from anyone. Actually, he knew that wasn't entirely true considering what had happened to him when he had been so helpless but he knew he didn't have to talk about it, especially to Mia. If she knew how weak he had felt and how he had almost wished for death he knew she would think less of him and he didn't want her to think any less of him than she already did. He knew she must've lost whatever respect she had for him when he had been so cruel to her so he could only imagine how much respect she'd have for him if she knew what he went through.

"You could look into therapy if you don't want to talk to me,” she suggested. Although she wanted to be the one to help him, she knew there were other options.

"I don't need to talk to some shrink about my feelings. I don't need someone to give me drugs or coping mechanisms to work with,” he said irritated. He wished she would just drop the topic, but she didn't.

"No one says you have to take any drugs, Sage, but I don't think it's healthy to just let everything boil inside,” she said.

"Mia, do you not think I went through therapy when I left the army? Do you think it helped? It didn’t. Nothing can change what has already happened and there's no need for me to harp on about it,” he said. He knew that although he hadn't spoken about what had happened to him, everyone knew he had been the only survivor.

"I'm sure you did and maybe it didn't help then but it could be good if you go again,” she replied.

"If it didn't work for me then, what makes you think it would work for me now?" he said.

"We could look into a different kind of therapy. Something that could make you feel more alive. It doesn't have to be the typical therapy everyone goes to,” she said.

"I appreciate the thought, Mia, I really do, but I'd really like to just leave it alone if you don't mind,” he replied sternly. Mia decided to drop the subject, knowing no matter what she said he wouldn't change his mind.

They proceeded to eat dinner in silence, both not wanting to say anything to the other that could make the conversation any worse than it already was. The air around them was tense as they avoided eye contact.

Once Sage had finished his plate of food, he looked at Mia as she stared vacantly at her plate while she ate. He was grateful for everything she had done for him but he knew there was no way he would talk to her or anyone else for that matter about what was going on in his head. He was strong enough to deal with it on his own.

"Thank you for dinner, it was delicious,” he said as Mia finished her plate. She was a slow eater he noted.

"It was my pleasure,” she smiled at him, although it didn't really reach her eyes. He had hurt her feelings like he always did, although this time he hadn't meant to.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to head back to bed,” he said as he pushed his chair back so he could stand, feeling a pinch of pain shoot through his legs as he stood. He held his facial expression together, not wanting to give his pain away. He really hoped that by the time he woke up the next morning the pain would be nonexistent, he needed to get his strength back but it would be hard if he continued to be in pain.

"That's quite alright,” she replied, "you need your rest." She didn't fight him. She had already lost every battle with him so there was no point trying anymore.

"Thank you. Would you like some help cleaning up?" he asked.