Page 26 of Rough Night

Spending more time with Mia started to change the way Sage saw things. Their relationship hadn't been easy, but they were on a path that he hadn't been down for a long time, and even though it was scary for him, he wouldn't want it any other way. There was so much he wanted to learn about Mia, but already he knew he couldn't be without her going forward. He had tried his hardest to keep them separated, not wanting to get too close to her because his biggest fear was losing people. That was starting to change for him. She had been fighting for him and alongside him for a while and to him, it just proved how sure she was of him. It made it easier for him to slowly let her in.

He knew he had pushed a lot of people away during his life. He had probably hurt more people than he had intended to, but he had tried to look out for himself. He couldn't afford to lose anyone after what he had been through, so he decided to not let anyone close enough to him. He knew it wasn't really the best decision to make or the best life to have, but it had served him well so far. Not many people knew it because of the way he presented himself, but Sage was a very emotional person, he always had been, but he had blocked his emotions off when he came back from the army. He should've seen someone about the trauma he had gone through. He wasn't stupid enough to believe ignoring it would make it go away, but he did what he could without seeking assistance.

He thought it would appear that he was weak if he asked for help. He was a military man, and he was strong enough on his own. Well, that's what he believed before Mia showed up. She showed that she would support him no matter what he went through, even if that meant he pushed her away in the process. He believed she had learned that he would always go back to her which surprisingly for him was true. He had never wanted to rely on anyone, and when he had been with Laura he had also tried to keep things away from her. Most of the time she hadn’t tried too hard to get anything out of him. He wondered if it was because she didn’t care or if she just wasn’t interested in him the way he had thought she was.

They had been on a path to a future together, but maybe it had meant more to him than it had to her. He would never find that out, of course, but nevertheless, he believed she had loved him and a part of him had been looking for a partnership when he had met her, but it was different with Mia. He wanted so much more with her than he had ever expected. He would never have thought that a small person like her would have impacted his life this much in such a short period of time.

While they slept, Sage curled himself around Mia, cradling her body against his while he had a dreamless sleep. The dreams of Laura had started to slowly stop as his heart become more focused on Mia. It was a big thing for him. Although he hadn't told anyone about his dreams he knew that as long as he was letting Laura go the dreams would stop eventually and while he continued to let Mia in he became sure that he had made the right choice. He had to remind himself that Mia was what he had and Laura was in the past. He had to let her go so he could have a future, Whether it would be with Mia or not, he knew he deserved it.

He had had a lot of dark thoughts when he was in the well, but since then he had realized that he could have a better life and he had to live like that regardless. He didn’t just owe it to himself, but he also owed it to his team. He had to give them something to be proud of, and he had to be proud of himself too. He knew he had made a lot of different decisions that had led him down a path they probably thought he wouldn’t have gone, but he had worked hard to get to where he was and he was happy with the choice he had made.

He knew the only person he needed approval from was himself because he was the only one left, and the only person he answered to. It hadn’t been easy when he had gone home. His mother had tried to look after him for months while his head healed, which had driven him crazy. When he finally had the chance to leave, he didn’t turn back. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate all his mother had done for him, but he knew the longer he spent with her, the more he would have probably be driven to insanity. It sounded cruel, but she had babied him and had constantly made him feel as if he couldn’t do anything with a head injury. She had stopped him from getting a few jobs, warning him that he wasn’t ready. He had no choice but to leave it all behind when he found the job with Fiona. He knew his mother would never have been pleased with the choice and she wouldn’t have accepted it.

Sage woke up with Mia in his arms. He held her there for a while, enjoying her body next to his. Although they hadn’t had sex, Sage was enjoying his time with Mia, especially considering her presence helped him sleep better at night. It had been a long time since he had had any really bad dreams. His last bad dream had been just before his kidnapping. It was a relief to him as there were times when he had dreaded going to sleep because of those dreams. He didn’t want to see anyone about them because he knew where that would lead him. He was glad they had started to go away on their own.

He wanted to stay there with her, but he knew he had to go to work. As much as his life had turned around, he couldn't stop doing what he needed to do. Grier relied on him, and he wanted to constantly show that he could do the jobs given to him. He had messed up so much recently so he felt he had something more to prove. He had to show that he was a part of the team more so than ever before.

He took a quick shower, slightly fantasizing about Mia but not allowing himself to think too much of it; she was just in the other room after all. He made himself a quick breakfast and had a cup of coffee before he left the house. He had to move some things from one shop to the other. Business never stopped, but he was happy he had spent some time with Mia. They had gotten to know each other just a little bit more, and he liked what he was learning. He stayed focused on work for the day, and as the day came to an end, he was happy to be heading home to Mia. The thought was definitely something that made him happy.

He knew his life had turned around with the help of Fiona and Grier. They had looked after him, they had looked after both him and Mia, and he could see the way it had changed Mia. Most importantly, they had given him a reason to live. He had been so busy being consumed by his past that he had almost given up on finding something that would turn him back onto the path he enjoyed. He knew not a lot of people would agree with what he did, especially because he was a military man, but he felt like his presence still protected people around him and to him that was all that mattered.

When he had come back to Pine Hill after the bombing in Afghanistan, he knew he would never go back to the army. It had damaged him far too much for him to think it could ever make his life better. He knew it shouldn't be about him but more about the fact that he was saving his country, but he had seen the inner workings of the military. The wars were too far gone for anything or anyone to be saved. It was too late for him to be completely saved too, but with Mia around, he felt like a part of him was slowly starting to heal, a part of him he had ignored for far too long.

Sage knew that although their lives had been placed together just out of coincidence, her being there for him was more than he could have ever asked for. Fiona had forced them to be together at the start, but he was grateful for it. Not only would he have probably died a few weeks ago if it wasn't for Mia, but her life had started to change because of him too. He would have to thank Fiona for her involvement one day. She would probably wink at him because he felt that she knew all along that they were bound to be together.

He laughed at the thought. If he had known that joining the Screaming Demons would have changed his life so drastically, he would've found them a long time ago. Maybe he wasn't ready back then, and it had all happened when it was supposed to happen. He liked to believe that everything happened for a reason. He knew he had met Mia so his life would find a new meaning even if he had thought he had lived his life as best as he could. She was something he hadn't seen coming, and when she was right there in front of him, he had still tried to deny it.

He knew she had been someone to watch out for. He had figured that out the moment he met her, but he wasn’t sure if he could let her in. She had a personality that couldn't be ignored, and her laugh drove him crazy most of the time. Of course not being able to let her in wasn’t personal and he wished he could explain that to her because he knew she wanted him to talk to her more, but he couldn’t explain it without going into his history which he wasn’t ready to do. He hated himself for the fact that he wasn’t ready to talk about it. Most of the time it ate away at him on the inside because he could tell that she wanted to be there for him.

He didn't want to pass his bad life stories onto anyone else, especially considering nothing could change what had already happened and for the longest time that had been something he had to come to terms with. He could never go back and change what had happened in the past and in the end, it probably was the best thing for him. Even though his past was hard it had shaped him into the man he was. He had the future to look forward to, a future he had started feeling more positive about. He hadn’t pictured much of a future for himself for a long time so it was rather refreshing to think about what could possibly happen in the future,

Sage spent some time trying to figure out what he could do that would show Mia just how much he cared about her. He definitely wasn’t ready to talk about getting married nor was he ready to talk about having children. That would be a huge step that he wasn’t one hundred percent ready for. The last time he had thought about something like that he had lost everything. He knew no one that surrounded him knew too much about his past. No one even knew that he had wanted to marry Laura. He had never discussed it with anyone back then, and he couldn’t picture himself talking about it to anyone any time soon.

He also knew he wasn’t ready to give them a title just yet. That could be something they could talk about eventually, but for now, he wanted to show her that he valued her role in his life.

He felt like he belonged to her in some way, like they were tied together on some deeper level that he could never really explain to anyone, but he wanted everyone to know somehow. He had never had a bond with someone the way he had with her. Of course, he had gone through a lot of life and death situations with his team back when he was in the army, but it hadn’t meant so much considering it was their job to expect it to happen. They were supposed to try to help save each other, but Mia didn’t have to save him from the well. She could’ve just left him to rot once she had found out where he was. It still surprised him that she had even searched for him.

We could wear rings, he thought to himself, but that thought soon left his mind because that symbolized too much. He also didn’t want to make a promise to her because he already knew he was committed to her. He wanted something that could last forever. He knew getting any sort of jewelry would be pointless because he hadn’t seen Mia wear much since he’d met her.

A lot of thoughts crossed his mind, but none of them stuck until he thought of something so good not even he could deny the brilliance behind it. Some could say he was crazy but he knew that if anything it would be a true symbol of his feelings for Mia, it would be a way that he could express himself without having to do too much talking. He didn’t care too much about what anyone else thought either. As long as Mia agreed he thought it was a perfect idea.

He had never gotten a tattoo before. He had never thought too much of it, but he felt it was an amazing way to bond with Mia, especially considering she was a creative person. He wasn’t sure if she’d agree, but he hoped she would at least think about it. He wouldn't expect her to say yes right away and because it was such a huge step forward, he hoped she would see the true meaning behind it.

He made his way home to Mia with a huge smile on his face. He felt that his decision was the best idea he’d had yet. He knew some people were superstitious about tattoos, but he didn't believe in all of that nonsense. If it meant something to him and Mia, that was that mattered. He started to think about what he would get as he drove home, there were a few options, but he had to make sure that it symbolized Mia's character.

He arrived home and walked into the house, instantly smelling food being cooked. He had never met anyone who loved cooking as much as Mia did. He appreciated it a lot because he hardly thought of cooking himself food most days.

He had not exactly looked after himself well after the army. He had his mother helping him for a while, but when he had been on his own he hardly cooked at all. He would mostly just order food, eat it straight out of the container it came in and then he'd throw it away. No mess, no fuss was what he used to say. It sounded sad when he thought about it, and from an outsider's perspective it probably was sad. At the time he was definitely sad, though he would never have admitted it to anyone.

When he had been on his own he had tried to stay clean. He kept his apartment clean and he made sure he had clean clothes, although he didn't exactly do the washing himself. He had a cleaner for that. He hated to admit it, but he had been dependent on anyone else who could take the burden of living off of him. He had tried to stay strong by going to the gym and working out so he could keep distracted from the mundane life he had led.

He walked into the kitchen and found Mia hunched over the kitchen counter. She was a sight for sore eyes, and it was so amazing to Sage that she cared so much for him to constantly make sure he had dinner even when he would be busy most of the day. He had never had someone who just wanted to look after him before, who just wanted to make sure he was fed. It pulled at his heartstrings when he realized that Mia truly cared for him and would take care of him. He hadn't been the most deserving person of that sort of treatment, and he knew it, so it meant the world to him. Seeing her there not only made him happy, but it reassured him that his idea was what he wanted to do. He was grateful he hadn't given up on life. Everything had led him to her. His eyes looked at her, memorizing her features as she moved around the kitchen completely unaware that he had come home.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” he asked from behind her. He could bow down to her, he could lay his life on the line for her. She had honestly been the one thing that had saved him from himself. Even when he thought he had been surviving, he really hadn't now that he knew what his life could be like. He knew at that moment that he was allowing himself to really open himself up to her. One day he would tell her about his past.

“Beef and broccoli stir fry,” she replied as she spun around to look at him. She smiled at him as she took him in. He too couldn’t contain a smile as he looked at her. Mia looked gorgeous no matter what she was doing, and anyone would be blind not to see it. How she had gone through life without being snatched up already blew Sage's mind. Anyone would've been lucky to have a woman like her in their life. He could not let her go now.

“Yum, sounds delicious,” he said.