Page 39 of Rough Road
He walked out slowly, his brows drawn together and his mouth almost puckered. He stood at the edge of her bed, and she concentrated on his knees which were directly in her line of sight. “Please. Mia, tell me what you’re talking about.”
She sat up and pushed the sheet to her lap. “It’s none of your business.” Her side ached when she fell back against the mattress.
“It is my business. It’s about me. Me kissing you.”
“Why’d you stop?” It wasn’t just a question. It was a challenge. And if he answered, maybe she would, too but not one damned minute before.
“Because.”
She turned away, faced the window, and ignored him.
“Mia… please.” He sighed and she heard his hands scrub over the stubble on his cheeks. “Shit. Fine. I stopped because I can’t want you this much and still be able to keep you safe.”
“Keep me safe?” Bull shit.
“Now you. What did you mean? What do you think bothers me?” His eyes narrowed and he shoved his hands in his pockets.
Why, oh why, did he have to look so adorable? “That I was a Kat for the club. It’s okay. I know it’s bad. I’m not the kind of girl any guy would ever… I’m not…” Fuck. Why did this have to be so hard? And why did she care if he didn’t think she was marriage material. “Not the kind of girl you bring home to meet your mom. Or the kind you picture having babies with.” And now she sounded like she was lobbying for a marriage proposal. Could this get worse? “Not that I want to have your babies or anything.”
He frowned. “What’s wrong with my babies?”
What? “Nothing, I’m sure. They’ll be beautiful and very… tall. But they’ll just be with someone else.” Well, yes, as a matter of fact, she could make it worse. And had. “Not that I care. I mean… your babies are your business. And whoever you have them with.” She sighed. “God make it stop.”
“Make what stop?” But his lips twitched.
“The babbling.” She fiddled with the blanket where it rested over her chest. “I do it when I’m nervous.” And now she’d admitted he made her nervous. Perfect.
“Nervous, huh?” He looked down at his shoes and rocked back on his heels. “Me, too.” After a second of silence that felt like a solid month, he nodded to the door. “I’m going to go outside and call Grier. Check in. You gonna be okay for a few minutes? I’ll be right outside.”
She nodded because she was too ashamed to speak. She’d humiliated herself too many times to count tonight. And it wasn’t until she closed her eyes that it occurred to her that he hadn’t denied that her past as a Kat bothered him. And pretending not to cry while she pretended to sleep was a lot harder than it sounded.
