Page 20 of Dark Time

“It went fine.” I pushed the doctor’s words to the back of mind and focused on the first part of my trip. “I got the problem sorted out quickly enough and put steps in place so that the hotel manager could deal with those kinds of problems in the future. She’ll still have to consult me, but I won’t have to fly out there next time something similar happens. Because there’s always a next time.”

“Good. I hated you being gone so long.” She leaned against the arm of the couch, and the lights from the Christmas tree illuminated her in a way I found rather magical.

Thoughts left my head, and I stared at her like a love-struck schoolboy who was in the throes of his first crush. She was just … beautiful.

“You know, you amaze me, Emily. You really do.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked with a confused look.

“You just carry on, no matter what life throws at you. I know it must be hard for you right now, being without your family, but you just smile anyway and make the best of it.”

“It’s not like I could do anything else.” She looked more perplexed than confused now, but it settled into a smile. “Besides, it’s hard to be sad when you’ve come home.”

Home. She’d called this place home. I looked away and made myself busy picking up a strawberry. I didn’t want her to see my face because I probably looked like some goofy kid.

The news from the doctor had been … alright. The new medicine had started to work at last, and as long as it kept that up, I’d be fine. He did warn me that if anything happened, more symptoms, or something became worse, that I was to come right back and see him. If it was bad enough, he’d said, I should go to the emergency room. That was the part that worried me, that I could develop a symptom so bad I’d need emergency care.

I tried to push the thought away. I was young, mostly healthy, and kept away from cigarettes and food that was far from healthy. I kept in shape and exercised often. I was happy for the first time in my life, really happy, and had a woman who could change the entire world for me. The fact that this was happening now, when life had suddenly become good for me, really pissed me off.

I wouldn’t think about it, I reminded myself. I sat back against the couch with Emily and sighed. There was no need to rush to bed, I decided, as she turned the television on and found a movie for us to watch. I had time to do all the things I’d fantasized about and then some.

She fell asleep curled up in my lap not long before the movie ended. I could have woken her up and taken her to bed, but the thought struck me that this was trust. She was totally unguarded, without any kind of protection at all, but she still fell asleep. That meant she felt safe with me, and I wasn't sure I’d ever made anyone feel safe before in my life. Only her. She trusted me to keep her safe, and she trusted me to not harm her.

She was totally unconcerned about what might happen to her, and that really hit me hard. She’d fallen asleep on me before, but it hadn’t really occurred to me what that meant. She trusted me implicitly.

I knew I should tell her what was wrong with me. She’d have to know if our relationship went on any longer, but for now, I wanted to keep it a secret. Was my failure to tell her a form of dishonesty? It wasn’t something she could catch from me, it wasn’t something like that, but it would impact my health and my way of life, eventually. I would have to tell her before the day came when I’d need help.

I didn’t want her to think of me as a patient, though, or to burden her with that knowledge, not right now. If, and when, the day came that I’d need more care than I needed right now, I’d tell her. It would be her choice to make about whether she stayed with me.

I didn’t really have much concern about that either, if I was honest. I knew how loyal she was and knew she wouldn’t leave me just because of an illness. I didn’t want her to stay because of that loyalty, however. I shifted as guilt started to nag at me.

I shouldn’t have started this relationship, not with such an uncertain future ahead of me, but Emily was a storm wrapped in a blessing that I hadn’t counted on. She’d thrown everything inside of me into havoc, while she made everything outside seem calm and sensible. She gave me hope that I could have a future, and I loathed to give that up now.

I brushed at her cheek softly as she began to snore and smile. Even her snores were soft and unobtrusive. I reached for my phone, made sure it was in silent mode, and then took a picture of her there, on my lap, completely angelic looking.

She’d hate it if she knew I’d taken that picture, but I knew it was one I’d look at often in the future. I had a few of her, and I’d look at them every night before I went to sleep while I was away. We would do video chats, and we talked every day, but I still liked to see these moments we’d captured together before I went to sleep without her. Sometimes the life she’d given me in our short time together seemed unreal. I’d take out the pictures, have a look at them, and know that it wasn’t all a fantasy. Emily was mine, she was real, and I’d do whatever it took to keep it that way.

Emily

I woke up the next morning and prepared some breakfast for both of us. I knew he liked light breakfasts, I did too, so it wasn’t too complicated. I’d learned to cook from my brother Trent’s wife when we were both young. I thought about her now, and the hurt that came with thoughts of my family dimmed my happy expression.

Dylan made the hurt disappear the instant he walked into the kitchen and slid his arms around me from behind. “Good morning, Emily. Have I said how much I love this Christmas wonderland you’ve created?”

“You have, but thank you. I really like it, and I’m glad you do too.” I drizzled a little icing onto the cherry-filled pastries I’d baked and brought the plate to the small table we sat at in the mornings. “Come eat before they get cold.”

“Fine.” He dragged the word out like a teenager that had been asked to clear the dishwasher, but smiled as he sat. “You know these are my favorite, right?”

“I do, indeed.” I picked one up and carefully bit into the flaky pastry. The taste was heavenly, I had to admit.

“What are you going to do today?” he asked after he swallowed a bite of his food and then watched me.

“I have no plans, actually.” I didn’t want to admit it, but I was starting to get bored sitting at home all day on my own. There were enough books in the world to keep me occupied for the rest of my life, but I liked to be active too.

“How about you come into work with me then?” he asked, and I felt excitement bubble to life.

“Really?” I took another bite and waited.

“Yes. You have a good eye for decoration, and I’d like your input on a few things.” He didn’t quite meet my eye, but I understood. He was busy eating.