Page 35 of Dark Rules

It was only then that I knew that I had been crying. What had I done? I’d said such cruel, hurtful things, things I didn’t mean. But then, what had he done? He’d been just as hurtful, disrespectful even. Thoughts swirled, the scene played over and over again in my mind, and all I could think was had we really ended it like that? Was that the end? Was this the beginning of my painful, lonely life?

I didn’t even know how I got home. One minute I was walking out angry, so fucking angry, and the next I was walking into my bedroom. Now, I was frozen, still on the bed as the song replayed. I started to think about the moments in our time together, how they related to the song.

The moment I’d seen him, when an entirely new world had opened for me in an instant. If I’d known now how it would end, would I have walked away? Would I have given up all he’d given me to miss this pain? I’d curled up into myself, a sob breaking from my throat as real tears started, the ones that were accompanied by uncontrolled sobbing.

“Fuck…” I moaned miserably. “Please. No. It can’t be done.”

I’d had no idea just how much a human being could hurt until now. I’d wanted to die, just to make the pain stop. But that wasn’t an option; not unless a broken heart could kill you. I was too strong to do something stupid. It didn’t mean I didn’t long for that blackness, though. I’d tried to sleep, I’d tried to distract myself with the television later, but nothing worked. Around one am, I heard a knock on the door, and my heart skipped a beat.

It had to be, I just knew it was, and I ran to the door. I’d kicked my shoes off at some point, but I was still in the slacks and the sweater, and my hair was a mess. I didn’t care, he’d come for me. Like a white knight, my hero had come for me. He’d tell me how he’d take me in whatever capacity I’d give him, and we’d make love, make the memory of that fight disappear.

“Dylan…” I gasped, a smile on my face, but it soon melted away.

“Dylan? No, my dear sister. I’m afraid I’m not him. From the looks of your face, that’s probably a good thing. Get out of the way.” He pushed in the door and barged into the living room.

“What do you want, Trent?” I’d totally forgotten about him since I’d blocked his number. Then the rest of the family.

“I want you to stop seeing that smear on humanity. I want you to promise you’ll end it. You are disgracing our family. How could you?”

“First of all, Trent, I’m not your employee. You don’t get to barge into my house and give me orders.” I stood up straight and cleared my sinuses. The tears were gone, for now, replaced with outrage. “Next, you certainly don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t see. I am your sister. Not your fucking maid, not your fucking wife, and certainly not your servant to order around. Got it?”

“Look, I don’t care that you’ve decided to make a fool of yourself, but at least think about my father and your mother! How will they react knowing you’re sleeping with a man who’s a killer?”

I went cold all over, as if he’d doused me in ice water. I glared at him, my heart a thump in my chest. “Your father? My mother? You still aren’t over that shit? He’s our father, you prick! She’s your stepmother. Get the fuck over it and move on!”

I was shouting by then and wondered if the neighbors could hear me. To be honest, I didn’t really care. “As for those moronic rumors you persist in believing, how about you actually investigate what happened? Dylan couldn’t have killed his parents; he’s not capable of it!”

“For fuck’s sake, Emily, are you serious? You’re like some kind of Charlie Manson groupie, only it’s with the parent killer instead? You’ll believe anything he says, because he’s nice to look at and has mesmerizing eyes? I thought you were smarter than that.” Trent looked down at me, he was much taller, and sneered. His eyes, almost the same shape as mine, drilled holes into me, but I didn’t buckle.

“No, Trent, I just took the time to get to know him,” I said it softly, without much emotion.

“Get to know him. Fucking him isn’t getting to know him, sis.” He sneered that last bit, and that might be the reason I slapped him. Not the crude words, but the way he sneered sis at me, as if it was an expletive.

“I see,” he said, his hand over his jaw, while I stared at him defiantly, my head up. “Fine then. It’s like this—you continue with this, and you’re out of the family. I’m tired of dealing with you pack of Father’s brats. You’re the last straw. It was tough enough dealing with Kevin and Mason, but this? This is utter betrayal, Emily. You’ll regret it.”

“You can’t end my rights to the empire’s profits. I’ll be fine, Trent. I hate what you’re doing to my nieces and nephews, the fact that you’re taking me from them, but it can’t be helped I guess.” I spoke stiffly, as if it didn’t hurt at all, but it did. “If you think you’re man enough to overstep Dad’s place and that you can ban me from the family, fine.”

“Dad’s already agreed to it, Emily. Stop seeing him, or you no longer have a family.” He stared at me as if he expected me to buckle and give in to the family. As I’d done a million times before. Where had it got me? Babysitting my brothers’ kids, without a single happy birthday thrown my way. How many times would that happen in my life?

I could fix this all easily, tell him that it was over already, but now, it was my dignity that was at stake. My brother thought he could dictate my life. He thought that he could tell me who I could and could not spend my time. Who I could sleep with, even. No, that was done. Never again would any of them ever tell me what to do or take me for granted.

“Get out, Trent. I’ll be fine without you. Just go. Fuck off and find yourself a new whipping girl. I’m done with you all.” I had to bite down on my cheek to keep the tears out of my eyes, to keep the regret from making my voice shake.

“Fine. But don’t come running to me if you get hurt. You’ve made your bed, Emily. You’re going to have to lie in it now.” He gave me a doubtful look, turned, and let himself out of my house.

I collapsed on the couch. I hadn’t thought it possible to feel even more pain, but I was living the reality of it. In a single night I’d lost it all. The man I was falling in love with had broken my heart, and my family had ditched me for a relationship that didn’t exist anymore. If it ever really had. I’d wondered now, was it all my imagination? He’d said he wouldn’t accept any other form of relationship from me, except one that involved a contract. Was that really a relationship or was it a dictatorship?

And the words he’d said. The cruel, heartless way he’d spoken to me had been shocking, to say the least. I hadn’t realized he could be so hurtful. I’d never seen that side of him. Even when he had me chained to a wall, he’d been considerate, kind, but dominant. The man I’d just seen? That was petty.

I suspected Dylan had never had a relationship, not if that was his attitude through life. “I don’t do relationships.”

He did with his parents, but now that I thought about it, no he didn’t. Sure, he knew people like Freddie and Roxie; he talked with them, and laughed, but it was an acquaintance to him, not a relationship. Did he know what a real romantic relationship was? I’d guessed I’d never find out now.

I’d picked myself up and walked to the bathroom and started to fill the bathtub. I needed to relax, to get my head straight. I’d left Dylan’s in such a rush, I hadn’t even thought about what it would feel like to walk into an empty house. Now, I heard every creak, every pop of the boards. When I’d walked into the kitchen, the sound of my feet slapping the floor was loud and eerie. Even the sound of the water filling the tub was too loud.

I took out a bottle of wine, poured myself a glass of Vinho Verde that Dylan had brought to me. The tub was filling, but for now, I just wanted to drink this wine and try not to cry. I knew that before long I’d be a sobbing mess again.

I did ugly cry like I’d invented it, and I was about to do some more. I could feel it coming. I’d sit there in the tub and cry stupidly, and ugly, and alone. Obviously I didn’t make it to the tub.