Page 29 of Dark Rules

I stopped thinking about it so that I could explore her more fully. I touched her, and then something overwhelmed me. Some emotion I couldn’t name made my chest ache and my lungs all but seize up when I looked down into her trusting eyes. I didn’t want to let her go, that was plain to me now, but I would have to. I didn’t do relationships. Never.

Giving myself another month with her was dangerous. That was why I hadn’t mentioned it to her yet. She’d touched my face and narrowed her eyes with concern.

“What’s wrong, Dylan?” she asked softly in the dimly lit quiet of my bedroom. “You’ve been tense all night, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, pet. Just distracted, that’s all.” I thought about telling her about the property, the one that was almost mine, but I didn’t want to bring anything negative into our relationship. I already had by mentioning Trent Thompson to her. I’d regretted dumping that on her, so I kept quiet now.

“What’s got you distracted then, Dylan?” She moved, her hips brushed against mine, and she gave me a smile that said that was a reminder of what she should be paying attention to.

“Nothing worth worrying over, Stephanie.” I kissed her softly and whispered in her ear. “Nothing that can keep me from you for long, anyway. Open your legs. Let me in.”

I knew she loved it when I’d ordered her to open for me, and I repeated the order now. I moved down her body and made sure she understood that she had all of my attention now. Later, once we were both satisfied, and she’d fallen asleep, I went into my office.

In the light from my desk lamp I looked over the contract. It was the same as the last one, only this one had a much later date and a larger amount of money noted. Was it enough? Would she just say no? Had she had enough of me?

I’d thought about the way her thighs had clamped around my head earlier and knew she hadn’t. She’d never said no when I told her I wanted to see her, and she was never too busy. Luckily, her period only lasted a few days, but even then, she’d spent time with me, satisfied me in other ways.

I’d thought Roxie’s words and sat back in my chair. Was she right? Was I throwing away something that I’d regret letting go? Would another contract be an insult to Stephanie? Surely not, she had gone into this knowing it would end sooner or later. We’d been up front about what we’d wanted. Although, now that I thought about it, she’d never said what she wanted from this arrangement anymore.

She’d stopped after the second contract was signed. Maybe that was because I hadn’t mentioned a new one. Maybe she thought I wasn’t going to renew the contract and had decided to let me go. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. If she wasn’t complaining, pleading for more time, then that meant she could let me go.

I didn’t like that idea any more than I liked the idea of another man touching her after me. I knew it shouldn’t bother me, but it did. I just didn’t have a right to feelings like that. Not a man like me. I was too much of a wanderer, too free to be tied down. Or so I’d always thought.

No, a month was long enough. After that, I’d part ways with her, and that would be that. I wasn’t falling in love with the woman; that would be stupid. I’d said it over and over again, I wasn’t in love. I wasn’t in love. She was just a fascinating woman. She was my mistress, a lover—not a girlfriend. I wasn’t in love. But in the back of my head, I could hear a denial, a voice that said, are you sure about that, big boy?

Emily

The next day, I felt better prepared to handle whatever Trent had to throw at me. Okay, so my way of dealing with him was to block his number from my phone, and then Jesse’s when he’d started in from her number. I’d gone out earlier in the morning, when Dylan left to get some work done, and had bought a new one. One that would allow me to block numbers at my own discretion. I kind of expected he’d show up at my door any time, so I stayed away from home for the rest of the day.

Dylan called at lunchtime to ask if I’d wanted to go to his place or mine tonight. I quickly told him I’d prefer to be at his place, and we set up a time to meet there. He had some work to do for the rest of the day, so I kept myself busy at shops, getting my nails done, and then finding a few things I’d need for my overnight stay. I didn’t want to go home to pick up anything because I knew who’d be there waiting for me. I didn’t want to face him, so I’d bought a new toothbrush and a few other things, crawled through secondhand shops until I found a vintage nightgown, in a soft peach color that I knew he’d love, and some clothes for tomorrow from a boutique I’d found hidden away in a strip of shops.

The new phone buzzed again around three, and I saw it was Kevin. I’d always been closest to Kevin, but I didn’t want to talk to him either. He might want to call me something even worse than Trent had. He might want to tell me it would be alright. I didn’t know; I just knew I didn’t want to face any of them right now. I couldn’t.

How did I explain the fact that I was with Dylan James? I could see it now, all of them sat in a boardroom, three almost identical glares aimed at me.

I’m his sub. We have a contract. I perform as his sub, and he pays me. God, that wouldn’t help. I could hear the accusations that I’d degraded myself for money, which wasn’t true; I was giving all of the money to charity. I didn’t need it. I also hadn’t degraded myself. If anything, I’d built up enough self-confidence to take what I’d wanted and to stand up for myself. If you considered avoidance a way of standing up for yourself, that is.

Maybe not, but to me, it was, and my brothers could all take a hike. I was a grown woman. I’d needed sex, the attention of a lover; I was a normal human being. The fact that it was Dylan James who I chose to do it with might upset them, but that was my business. I knew they’d also accuse Dylan of using me to get to them. They’d always forgot I was part of the empire’s structure. A small chunk of it was mine too.

They’d ignore that, and the fact that Dylan had no idea who I was when we met. He couldn’t be using me, because he didn’t know my identity. I was sure they’d scoff that off, which would make me feel as if they’d thought I wasn’t able to catch a man’s eye. But I had. I’d done all of this on my own.

Alright, I was better off than most people. I had a large sum in the bank, and I didn’t need to work or worry about how to pay my bills. I’d been lucky in that department, but I was doing all of this without them. I sat in my car, staring out at nothing as the sun set over the row of shops I’d stopped at just to waste some time. They’d say I’d fucked up, ruined my life, and that I’d need them to guide me, to make decisions for me.

That I’d need to come back to the fold and be at their beck and call again. I swiped at a tear as another thought rushed through my head. The text from Jesse’s phone had made my heart skip for a second. She hadn’t texted me in so long, and for a moment I’d thought she wanted to reach out to me. When I’d opened the text I saw the words ‘fucking whore’, and deleted it before I could read the rest.

It had been from Trent.

Why did everything have to be so hard with my family? With Dylan, life was easy, uncomplicated, well … kind of. I knew our time was almost up, but he didn’t act like it was. He hadn’t even mentioned it, and I took that to mean he might want to carry on. I hadn’t mentioned it because I’d wanted a real relationship with him. No more contract nonsense, just us, seeing what would happen if we made a go of it.

Perhaps that was the stupidest move I’d made so far, but I didn’t regret it. I didn’t regret any of the things I’d done with Dylan. He gave me so much and not just pleasure. He made me feel normal, as if I had a purpose and meaning for someone. As if he needed me to make his life happy with my presence alone.

With my family, I had to give and give, my time, my patience, my knowledge; the work they considered too menial like arranging flights and surprises for their wives. The assholes couldn’t remember my birthday, though. I scoffed as I thought back to what had started all of this. They’d all, my brothers and their wives, had forgot my birthday. Not a single one realized it until I pointed it out to them eventually.

No, people like that deserved no kind of loyalty from me. I checked my face in the rearview mirror, swiped a smear away, and took a deep breath. I focused on the shops in front of me. One was a jewelry store. Hmm.

I didn’t remember Dylan wearing any kind of jewelry, but he did wear a watch. Maybe he’d wear a ring if I bought him one. Or a necklace. I went into the store and smiled at the eager saleswoman. Before I knew it, I’d bought an accent ring of gold chain links, a gold necklace with a crown as a pendant, and a pair of gold cuff links with tiger eyes. The ring reminded me of the chains he’d locked me in that first time, the chains that had given me my freedom. The necklace was a reminder that he was my sir, my king. And the cuff links? Well, they reminded me of the flogger. I knew he’d see the significance of each gift.

I didn’t know if he’d wear them or like them, but I’d felt as if I needed to give him a solid reminder of what he was to me. To me he was all of these things and so much more. I didn’t want to let him go, but if he didn’t want to continue with me I’d do as he asked. It would hurt, it might rip me apart, but I’d do it.