Page 14 of Rough Diamonds

I carefully go to the back room and open up the black curtains. They hang to the floors and have little bows, as if this is an elegant place to be. The smell of dirty schwag has my body tensing. All I can do is pray the alcohol takes over. I can’t take another day of this shit. The one who I fucking hate comes up behind me and wraps his arm around my throat squeezing me in an head lock grip. My breathing starts to shallow. I tap on his arm.

“Please…..” I can barely breathe to make out my words. I start to kick my feet in hopes of release. Then, I still remembering some of Marcus' training. I lean back, making myself dead weight. With all my weight, I throw my elbow back. When he steps back, I take my other elbow, shoving it in his throat. With sheer will power, I straighten myself out.

“You fuckin brat, stop doing shit like this.” He grunts, I can’t help the sinister laugh.

“Oh? Like what?” I cross my arms over my breasts. I don't want this skeez ball looking at me. I hate feeling vulnerable. “You mean defending myself, from you. My supposed stepdad.” I swear I want to swallow bleach or something to get the taste of that word off my tongue. I hate him with everything I have, and then sometimes I feel bad. Like I shouldn’t hate him so much, like I should be thankful for something. But to be thankful for what? Now this is the part that upsets me the most. What the fuck should I be thankful for? My brain hurts from even trying to think because you know what it is. It’s my heart. It’s me being a good fucking, goddamn person.

Tears start to gloss over my eyes, and I try to hold them back as much as I can. I can’t let him see this. I can’t let him know that he’s getting to me in any type of way.

“You’re a goddamn fucking spoiled little brat who deserves nothing in this life. Now, help me up. You still owe me and I was just coming to collect what’s mine.”

I swear I’m going to barf. I gotta keep it together. I breathe in slowly, and then force the air out. “I don’t have anything to offer you, right now. I haven’t really made any money.” I lie, but he doesn’t have to know that I’ve been stashing away everything that I get. I need to, so when the day comes, I have a way out. Sometimes, I wish the sky would just swallow me up.

To be present in this man’s vicinity just makes me want to throw up all over. I can’t control my emotions whatsoever. I can’t look at him. I can’t smell him. I can’t feel him, I want nothing to fucking do with him and yet my mom thinks he’s some fucking, goddamn, savior when he’s more like the monster living under your bed. I pull away and look at him over my back.

“I’ll get you what I can, when I can, so just hold your fucking goddamn horses for once in your life. You have never given me anything. Can you please, just give me this?” I just need a minute to decompress. I need to think everything through and see how I’m going to do this. I know he’s not gonna leave me alone.

“Where are your little lap dogs at?” He pulls himself up against the wall to straighten out.

“They’re just some lap dogs?” I throw my hair over my shoulder and keep walking. I need to get on stage soon. Hummm.

“I bet they would just love this if they knew what you did for a living, wouldn’t they?” I stopped right in my tracks and turn around.

“Back the fuck off, before you start more problems than what you really want.” I push at him as hard as I can.

“Oh there it is, they don’t know what you’re doing. Do they?” With that I ignore him. I'm not gonna give him the time of day. This is exactly what he wants. He wants to see me lose my fucking shit so then I lose everything around me it’s not happening.

“Go away, old man. I’ll get you your money later. I’ll let you know.” I shoo him away and make my way to the lights.

I carefully grip the handle bar and walk up to the stage. The lights above blind out everyone else around me. I close my eyes and envision every move before I make it. I gently pull off the coat and let it shimmy down my waist, my heels click up the rest of the stairs in the next stand before everyone and this is the part that I truly love. I feel like I’m free, no one is telling me what I can and cannot do. The music starts and I walk out to the pool that is in front of everyone. I jump up and go all the way up to the pool then I flip back down and go out into a worm. I open my legs and spread them as far as I can then I close them back up. It’s just the art of dancing that takes me away from the world I really live in. I lose myself to the music and just let myself go. To seduce any man is a win in my book.

A commotion has me coming out of my trance and I look around to see what’s going on. A chair flies by the side of me, and I jump backwards.

“What the fuck!” I shriek.

“Oh no, you don’t. .Where do you think you’re going?” I’m pulled up, off the ground, by my hair and I wince.

“Let go!” I start to struggle, not making progress, but I won’t give up.

“What are you doing Angel?” I swear it’s about to happen. I'm going to throw up. I can’t, they can’t.

“Don’t look so excited to see us.” He laughs, as he starts to drag me off stage. With both of my hands, I grip his, and try to pull him off. Really it’s no use and I know it.

“What do you want, Marcus?” I whine.

“What do I want?” He starts to question me like I’m some child.

“Marcus, let go, you’re hurting me.” I lash out with all I have but nothing budges. My back hits the steps as he drags me down.

“You want to be some gang banger now.” My eyes gloss over and tears start to roll down my checks.

“What the fuck Marcus. Seriously.”

“I’m dead serious Evie. You want to be a gang banger, maybe we should show you what that means.” He rubs my knuckles. “Yeah, Taz called us up right away and told us how you wouldn’t back off of this for months now. I don’t blame him, I mean you are a grown woman. You make those choices for yourself.”

Sylus stares at me with a glint in his dark eyes. He’s not happy with me. He shakes his head and looks down. Almost like he knows something I don’t. Damion’s carmel eyes hit me in the heart. “Really Evie? What? You thought you would just rep our gang, and we wouldn’t find out?”

I look at Damion. “What the fuck you guys, are serious right now? I got this to rep you guys because I’m just as much a part of it as you are.” I sit in silence as Marcus loosens up a bit.