Page 9 of Rent an Enforcer

I notice. I notice very much. My entire nervous system notices, in fact.

“This part is so good,” she whispers, focused on the screen.

Meanwhile, her fingers are four inches from where I very much want them to be but need them not to be if there’s any hope of getting through this without offending her or scaring her off for good. On screen, a woman is delivering a monologue in French that I’m sure is life-changing, but I’m reading none of the subtitles. Instead, I’m staring at the wall behind the TV and thinking about cold things. Snow. Ice baths.

It’s not working.

“Are you okay?” Stella pulls her head back, looking at me with a frown. “You seem very tense.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because you’re doing that thing where your whole face turns into concrete.” She scowls, and I have to admit, she’s doing a fairly good impression of me. “Do you hate the movie? We can watch something else. I also have⁠—”

She’s spiraling, and there’s only one efficient way to stop the spiral. It’s also something I’ve been wanting to do since she tucked me under a cat blanket. I kiss her.

She makes a small, surprised sound before melting into it. Her hand comes up to the front of my shirt while my hand finds the back of her head, holding it in place so I can tilt my own and fit our mouths together. When I probe the seam of her lips, she parts them and moans helplessly when my tongue slips through and finds hers.

When I pull back, she blinks at me like she’s dazed. “That was better than the movie.”

I’ll take that as a compliment. She fits against my side once I put my arm around her, and for a few minutes, that’s all it is. Her warmth, her weight. Something tells me neither of us is paying attention to the movie anymore. Not even Socks, who is now on the arm of the couch and approximately eighteen inches from my face.

“Does he always watch like this?” I ask, barely moving my mouth.

“Watch what?”

“Everything. Me.”

“Because he likes you. That’s his interested face.”

“It’s the same face he made when I walked in the first time. You told me that was judgment.”

“It’s an entire range. Don’t overthink it.” She tilts her chin up and kisses my jaw, which derails the rabbit conversation entirely. Then she pulls back and looks at me with an expression that’s still warm and open but also touched with nerves. It could have to do with the lines bracketing her mouth or the way her brows draw together. “Can I tell you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“I’ve never done this before.” She gestures between us. “Any of this. The couch thing, the kissing thing, the...” She waves vaguely at my entire body. “Thing.”

The only thing that keeps my head from snapping back in surprise is the thought that it might offend her. She’s opening up to me. I can’t throw away this gift. “You’ve never been with anyone?”

“Not once. My number is—” She holds up a hand, her thumb touching her index finger. “That’s a zero, in case the visual wasn’t clear.”

“I got it.”

“That’s probably weird for a twenty-one-year-old,” she continues, “and I know you’ve probably been with—I mean, look at you. The anxiety makes it hard to get close to people. The only men I’ve talked to in the past year are delivery guys and one very nice pharmacist, and⁠—”

“Stella.” Her mouth snaps shut. “We don’t do anything you don’t want to do. Nothing happens unless you say so.”

She lets out a shaky breath. “Okay.”

“We’ll go slow. I’ll tell you everything before I do it, so there aren’t any surprises.”

Her face goes pink to the roots of her hair. “What do you mean, you’ll tell me?”

“I mean I’ll walk you through it. Every step. You’ll know what’s coming.”

Now the flush has spread down her neck and across her collarbones. “Oh. That’s actually really helpful, because surprises... they’re on the list.”

“I guess they would be.” I pull her closer and kiss her again, only this time I don’t stop. I take it slow the way I told her I would. My hand on her neck. My mouth skimming a spot on her jaw that makes her shiver. “Is this okay?” I whisper against her skin.