Page 244 of Lethal Obsession

I touch the still hand again, inhaling sharply. “I get why you always loved Alexei, though. Turns out he’s really tough to hate, much as I wanted to before all of this.”

Before all of this. Fuck.

This is where it goes wrong, when I let reality enter the conversation.

I inhale deeply again, running a hand through my hair.

Keep talking shit, Benny.

There’ll be time for reality soon enough.

“So the wedding is in two days’ time. The villa is a fucking madhouse, so many kids running around I can’t tell who belongs to who. Aleksander, Darya’s oldest boy, apparently managed to sneak his toy bow and arrow into his luggage, and even though the arrows have rubber suction caps on the end, his aim is deadly. I mean the kid is barely eight, and he’s already shooting acorns off his little brothers’ heads when he thinks nobody is watching.

“He hits them, too. Every time. I swear this lethal shit runs in their blood. When I look at Aleksander hanging out with Leon, Abby’s boy, it’s uncannily like watching kid versions of Roman and Dimitry. No wonder Luke and Zinaida are staying in a separate villa with their baby girl. If I was Luke, I’d lock Mila up and throw away the key until all of those boys are long gone.”

I pause, but pausing means that nightmarish mechanical beeping, so I launch in again.

“Mickey is coming back for the wedding, apparently, but not until last minute. He’s gone very hardcore bratva since the whole murder-on-camera thing. He’s also got that Phantom thing up and running, or at least the framework, whatever the fuck that means. Yeah, I told you, Viking boy.” I give him a sideways quirk of a smile. “I’m deep in bratva land these days. Alexei actually tells me shit like that now. Not that I understand a fucking word of it, but it’s kind of sweet that he talks to me as if I do. Christ.” I shake my head. “Did I actually just call Alexei Petrovsky sweet? The doc must be slipping me some of your drugs.

“Oh, wait. Alexei’s not Petrovsky anymore, or at least he won’t be tomorrow, which is when Phantom is taking its first maiden voyage and altering his entire online identity. He’s reverting to his family name of Naryshkin, which is pretty cool. His father has been telling me a bit about it. He’s been in to see you, more than once, but I guess you know that.”

I feel an odd surge of affection for Alexei’s extremely old, but nonetheless rather intimidating, father.

“I’m beginning to see why your stories were always about Alexei and his father, rather than your own parents. Honestly, after the way they’ve totally ignored this entire thing, I’m not sure I could face them even if they turned up here. But it’s clear that you’re much more to Sergei than just his son’s friend. And he talks about you in the present tense. I swear that’s how I judge people these days. When your mother told me that you were such a genius, I nearly fucking hung up on her.”

I shoot him a rueful look.

“I’ve become a bit of a prick lately, to be honest. Been learning from the bratva boys. I like their code, you know? Loyalty to the death for each other, and a quick death to anyone who fucks with them.

“Actually, I like that. I might get it tattooed somewhere prominent. That would really piss my family off. Oh, and speaking of my family, they’ve finally cut me off completely. Apparently some photos were taken of you and me in Greece, clearly very much together. They were shared on Instagram by some major Saudi-celebrity-watching influencers, which means that now literally everyone in Riyadh knows I’m gay. My sister Rana texted to say that while she really does care about me, our parents will stop her allowance if they know she’s maintaining any contact. So I guess it’s just bratva family for me now.”

The machine beeps.

Say what you came here to say, Benny, for fuck’s sake.

But still, my mouth just runs on, like it’s operating independently of my will.

“I suppose I should also mention that when you thought I was feeling you up the other day, I was in fact measuring you for a tux. I’m going to bring it in the morning of the wedding and dress you in it, because even if you can’t stand at Alexei’s side, at least you can look hot in a picture with me, which as we both know is the important thing. Anyhow, my point is that I might not be in tomorrow, since Darya has assigned me to tux duty. Actually, that’s a lie; I insisted on taking tux duty the moment I realized Alexei and Roman were making no effort to match outfits.”

I give him a half smile. “Ofelia was worried I was taking on too much, but if I’m honest, I’ve been enjoying the distraction. And I’m not going to feel guilty about that, because I know how severely you hate the word guilt, especially when it’s about you.”

I glance at the analog clock on the wall. I’m allowed longer visits now, but even so, the nurses start walking pointedly slowly past the frosted glass if I push it over half an hour.

Say it, Benny.

“Speaking of guilt, there’s something I need to say before our time is up.” I slide one of my hands under his, palm up. It’s the way I cheat, letting his body weight give the illusion that his hand is actually holding mine, rather than lying lifelessly atop it.

“Alexei and I met with your medical team this morning. They were very tactful, but . . .”

Fuck.

“This is even fucking worse than I thought it would be, you know that, you Viking bastard?”

The anger hits me out of the blue, so fierce and painful it almost takes my breath away.

“How the fuck am I supposed to sit here and tell you that they want to fucking unplug you, like you’re some kind of malfunctioning goddamn computer? I mean, they’re not saying it outright, not yet, but after more than a week, they don’t have to. But if you think that’s what I’m feeling guilty about, asshole, you’re fucking wrong.”

My voice is unusually loud, but for once, I don’t give a fuck.