Page 44 of Carousel

“Rise and shine, Ara,” he says, far too cheerily for the hour. “Let’s show them all what a great Hevallan soldier you are.”

I rotate to face him – only to see something that definitely isn’t his face.

“Cosmer!” I yell, covering my eyes with my sheet. My face burns.

“Oh. I sleep naked sometimes,” he says, like it’s not a big deal. “Should I have mentioned that?”

“Yes!” I hiss into the sheet. “I would not have agreed to this arrangement if I’d known that.”

“Too late now, though, isn’t it?”

“Just tell me when you’re dressed.”

“Of course. Sorry.”

I hear him moving around, putting his clothes on. Bare feet against the wood. Fabric on skin.

“You can look now.”

I risk a glance before committing myself.

It’s safe. He’s in breeches, and he’s buttoning his shirt.

My first thought is that he’s thin.

Thinner than I’d thought he’d be. I can see the definition of muscles, but also his sharp shoulders. The slice of his collarbones.

He glances up.

“What?” he probes.

I look away, fast.

“Could you… When you’re fully dressed…”

What is wrong with me? Speak.

“Step outside, please?” I finish, my voice higher. “I’ll need some privacy.”

“Ara. We used to swim together.”

Now I know I’m blushing.

“That was different! We were basically kids. And I never saw anything.”

“I did.” He smirks.

“Excuse me?”

“Look,” he says, serious now. “I’ll make sure I’m covered up from now on. But we don’t have a lot of time to be messing around in the mornings. We have thirty minutes to get ready to go down to the Mess Hall – that includes making our beds and cleaning the floor.”

He does up the last button on his shirt, right by his slender neck, then sits on the end of his bed to pull on his boots.

“And, if I’m being honest,” he continues, steadily, “You’re going to have to get used to seeing things up here that might make you squeamish. These people are soldiers. A lot of them have seen dark things – and they have nothing to lose. We’ve spent years fighting together, sleeping together, bathing together, shitting together...” He tilts his body. “I know that’s not the way you grew up. But that’s just how life is here.”

He knows about my upbringing, but we’ve never really talked about it. This is new territory.

Guarded, I state, “I’m not prudish. If that’s what you’re trying to say.”