Page 173 of Carousel

“She took things from me she had no right taking,” he continues.

“Like what?”

“My very existence. And…”

Very slowly, he lifts up the sleeve of his blouse.

The marks on his skin are identical to mine.

I can hardly see them, because my vision is blurring.

Nor can I hide the shock on my face.

“Don’t look so surprised,” he says, pulling his sleeve down again fast. “Where did you think they were getting the blood from, to give it to you?”

I have no words.

I just want to implode again.

Meg is climbing up onto the platform. She takes my arm, and I collapse into her, my head on her shoulder.

“What did you say to her?” she hurls at him.

“I told her nothing she did not know before.”

I pull away from Meg. Almost crash into Riss, who recoils from me.

Then steps closer. “What’s wrong?”

I don’t think about how it might be a bad idea, with officers around us.

I just hug her.

I missed her. The friendship we were starting to have.

She’s probably the only other person on this ship who cares Cosmer is in the brig, suffering.

She pats me on the back, awkwardly.

I let go of her. Ask, my voice breaking, “Can I come back to Intelligence with you today?”

She looks at Meg. “What do you think? We could switch for the day?”

Meg folds her arms. “I had plans for Ara.”

“Ara and Cosmer don’t really do plans.”

“I suppose we could switch.” Offhand, Meg adds, “We could continue the conversation we were having, Drake.”

I don’t like the sound of that.

But I want to be with someone who vaguely understands what I’m going through.

So I let Riss lead me away, not looking back, and the words I’m burning to her fall out of me the moment we’re in the hallway outside.

“They gave Cosmer osimidite in the brig.”

She shoots around to me.