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The pain is a bomb. It detonates through my body. Like I’m being blasted open. Like my skull is splitting. Colours, shapes, sounds, all become one. Lights flash behind my eyes. I’m aware my whole body is flailing – yet I feel paralysed.

Screams rip out of me.

Someone else is yelling. I’m sure it’s Cosmer. I need him.

He needs me.

I was so close.

I almost had the gun.

I could have saved us both.

I failed.

I hear someone – I think it’s Ephraine – bellow, “Meg?”

Meg is off my body. She’s glowering down at me like she’s thinking about spitting on me.

I scratch at the floor.

“The pain,” I beg her. “Stop the pain. Please.”

She reaches for the mask on the table and slams it down over my head.

CHAPTER 23

The Happy Feeling

Ibreathe deeply, to the tune of a hollow sucking sound. Slowly, relief takes over me. Beautiful, overwhelming relief.

And joy.

It’s like being on the desert island with Cosmer again. Like nothing can hurt me, in this world – now, or ever. The pain that had blasted through me is hardly noticeable now. Feels more like I’ve worked my muscles even harder than usual in the Training Room, and I just need to stretch them out.

I sit up. The goggles in the mask warp the room. Make everything seem softer, like I’m viewing it from a distance.

Cosmer is being led away by officers. He keeps turning back, shouting something at me. He looks so angry. So scared.

Emotion tugs at me that I want to feel, but can’t.

And with every deep breath I take, filling my lungs right up, I only feel calmer. Without the buzzing in my head, I’m freer than I have been in years.

I can do anything.

Meg is standing up. Neatly, she smooths her hair and fixes her collar. She really is beautiful.

“Meg. Please tell us what in Cosmos we just witnessed,” Ephraine grunts.

“A problem with her blood magic,” she replies, perfectly emotionlessly.

“What blood magic? I didn’t know the girl had any,” one of the officers says. I think his name is Samson.

“A minor magic from a distant bloodline,” Dezeeves answers. “Related to the acquisition and comprehension of languages. It’s all in her book.”

Ephraine huffs. “Why in Cosmos would a pathetic magic like that cause her pain?”

“We still have many secrets to uncover about the mysteries of these talents – and perhaps Ara’s talents, specifically. However, I do know that, in joy or under duress, magic can either thrive or fail. And – luckily for us, I might add – this seems to have been a time magic failed.”