Page 94 of Lucky Puck
Then I open my eyes because I remember I’m benched. “Fuck.”
“What?” Sabien looks at me, brows furrowed.
“I’m benched for tonight.”
“As long as you play against Boston you’ll live. The team won’t fall apart. Just don’t pull any more shit, especially in the playoffs.”
I give him the finger since he knows I’m on my best behavior now. I have something to prove to the team, to make my talk about being a team player a reality.
“Will Brooks be coming down to the game in Boston?”
“No.” I never asked her, but I know she won’t. Not now. Two days ago I would have said hell yeah. I would have rented a luxury suite overlooking Boston Harbor and had her wait for me in bed so I could walk into the room after the game and find her there, a gorgeous, sexy, warm woman who stops my breath when I look at her. That scene is one of my favorite fantasies, and now it won’t work unless she’s the woman in it.
I push the seat back and glance out the window. There’s nothing to see but clouds.
I’m not sure why I’ve never arranged that fantasy before. Guess I never had a woman I looked forward to sleeping with this much. A pain shoots through my gut, and I close my eyes again.
“Why not?” Sabien presses.
“Grilling me about Brooks isn’t a good idea right now.”
“Everything okay?”
My only response is a grunt.
Which he interprets correctly and says, “Something’s wrong.”
“I don’t have what she’s looking for.”
“What might that be? You have money, looks, charm—”
“I’m not capable of the kind of romantic relationship she’s looking for.”
He laughs. “Who says?”
“Fuck you.”
“I’m serious.”
“When have I ever had a romantic relationship? Never. I don’t do romantic relationships. All I have are three categories of relationships with women: family—which doesn’t count—friends, and lovers. Brooks wants neither of those.”
“What do you want?”
I snort. “Are you serious? I’d be her lover all day long until she kicks me out.”
He smirks. “Sounds a lot like a romance to me. Aren’t you the one who kicks your lovers out of bed? And usually before morning?”
“This isn’t the same as that.” He’s right, though, and the fact that what’s going on with me and Brooks isn’t the same as my usual female relationships makes me more than uncomfortable. “Nothing about this is right.” That’s the only thing I’m sure of.
“You sure about that?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” My voice is fiercer than I meant it.
“Take it easy, dude. Keep your voice down.” He looks around, and Ax stops in the aisle at our row. Sabien nods at him, and after a quick glance at my glowering face, Ax gives Sabien the thumbs up and moves on. Without exchanging a word, they communicated the exchange of seats. The same way I communicate with Brooks sometimes.
Except when Brooks and I communicate, it’s not about something so simple as exchanging seats on a plane. We go deep, and I can’t deny it any more than I can explain it.
“You wouldn’t understand,” I mutter.
