Page 64 of Tricky Puck

She looks up at me.

“Come with me to New York.”

The words are like ice, freezing me, momentarily stunning me into the stark understanding of what it’s like to make the most difficult life choices, the kind that no matter what you do, a piece of you will be missing. I pause long enough for her to blink her tears away.

Her voice is hoarse and overwhelmed with emotions, shaky. “I know what I’m asking you, but you need to make a choice, Link. You need to decide and I’m not going to make it any easier for you. Because if you don’t come with me right now, I’m not coming back.” She takes in a deep shuddering breath. “Because then I’ll know we’re not for real.”

“Fuck.” I swipe both hands through my hair and notice they’re shaky. My insides churn and my muscles coil in defense like she’s trying to pull me apart.

“I can’t go. I have a game tonight.” My voice is hoarse and I plead with my eyes for her to understand.

Her rigid expression doesn’t soften, her blue eyes remain flinty. She turns and walks away and I fist my hands so hard my nails dig into my palms, but I can’t go after her, can’t throw my hockey career away. She can’t ask me to do that.

“You played like shit tonight,” Jason says as I’m checking my phone for messages or missed calls or any sign from Delaney.

I grunt.

“What the fuck’s wrong with you?” He grabs the phone from my hands. I don’t bother trying to get it back. She’s not going to contact me. She’s done with me. Fuuuck.

“Delaney left me.” I say the words out loud to Jason to test them out, to see how much it hurts to acknowledge the truth, to stop holding reality at bay, pretending this isn’t really happening, that I don’t really care way too fucking much.

“Why the fuck would she do that?”

I tell him about her ultimatum.

“That’s messed up, man.”

Sabe comes over and sits on the other side of me. “What’s up with you?” He sounds concerned. A year ago I would never have thought he’d sound like this, even when I knew he was concerned, he’d never have let his feelings show so obviously.

Is that what’s happening to me?

Jason answers him for me, telling Sabe about Delaney’s Granny and her ultimatum.

“Fuck. That’s tough. You should go, man.”

“Coach will trade my ass if I miss a game.” We have one tomorrow night and I’ve already done the math. I’d never make it back in time. “We can’t let anything get in the way of hockey this season.”

“Fuck that. I’ll talk to coach,” Sabe says.

I look at him and see that he’s serious. “What are you going to tell him?”

“The truth. That you need to be let off the hook. That you have an urgent medical problem in the family and you need to⁠—”

“Granny’s not my family.”

“She’s Delaney’s family. Close enough. She’s almost your family. The whole team is buzzing about your engagement.”

“You know it’s not real, right?”

“Fuck that. It’s more real than you think. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have played so shitty tonight. Luckily Chase picked up the slack for you.”

I give him the finger and we chuckle. Something in me releases and it feels like all the air is letting out of my tension like a popped balloon. But instead of feeling deflated, I feel like myself again. Confident. I know what to do. What I need to do.

I stand. “I’m out of here. Tell coach for me. I hope he gets it, but if not, it’s been a ride playing with you.” I nod at each of them and wish Chase were here, but he’s taking questions from the media.

“Coach will get it,” Sabien says. “I’ll make sure you have the support of the whole team. Coach can’t go against that even if he wanted to.”

Everyone in the locker room finds out about my dilemma by the time I’m dressed and they tap my shoulder and wish me well. Everyone in the locker room blames coach for my predicament. Except me.