Page 53 of Unscripted

Walking toward me, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up, so we were standing face to face. Time seemed to slow down, and everything got quiet as he leaned his mouth down to mine and kissed me.

James was kissing me, and then I was kissing him, and then we were making out. On national television.

The kiss felt like both an eternity and a split second, and then suddenly, it was over and James was pulling away. He gave me a wink before walking back to where he had been sitting.

Still in a daze, I tried to keep myself moving. I picked my dare out of the bowl and was thrilled to find it did not include kissing or lap dances or toe licking. All I had to do was say who I thought was the funniest Bella. I easily chose Jess and then it was over. I survived my first Bella Amore game.

Sitting back down, I kept my eyes straight ahead on the bowl of dares, trying to play it cool.

But inside, I was freaking out as I replayed the moment over and over. That kiss had been incredible, and I found myself wishing it had gone on even longer. Coupled with the pure surprise that James had chosen me out of everyone, it was no wonder I was having trouble calming my heart rate.

James, who I had so quickly written off in pursuit of Callum’s offer.

James, who was currently looking at me from across the fire pit deck.

I tried to ignore his gaze, tried to focus on the game around me.

To no one’s surprise, we won the party that evening.

***

The “party” was really just a few streamers hung around the yard and an extra drink allowed. All things considered, it wasn’t too bad a reward for a silly game of dare.

Even with the extra drink, though, I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that had slowly been building since the game.

Callum hadn’t looked at me afterward when everyone hopped in the pool for a celebratory swim. He didn’t spare me a glance during the toast or at any point when we were in the same group all evening. In fact, anytime I would join a conversation he was part of, he would quickly make up an excuse to walk away.

What was even more confusing was that I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Was he trying to build up a more dramatic storyline for us over my kiss with James? If so, then he should have confronted me, orchestrating some kind of blowout fight that would have garnered more screen time. Acting like I didn’t exist wasn’t good TV.

And, honestly, for the show or not, it felt kind of mean to flat out ignore me.

The thought that he might actually be upset about the kiss flashed across my mind, but I was quick to squash it. That wasn’t what we were doing here.

“Are you and Callum okay after that kiss with James?” Jess asked me as we sat on the daybeds.

“Honestly, I have no idea. I think he’s avoiding me,” I told her.

“He acts unbothered, but under the surface I think the bloke’s really a big softie,” she said. “Did you know that he was the one who helped smooth things over with Adam and Hugh after their fight last night? And he sat with Chiara today for a while. She said he was really kind.”

I didn't know any of that. I guess while I had been buried in my own head, Callum was running about, establishing himself as the villa hero. The new bit of knowledge only fueled my own confusion. Callum was a sweetheart to everyone else, just not me?

“Do you regret deading it with James?” Jess asked, voicing aloud the very question I had been pondering since the game of dare.

Had I made a mistake in turning my back on pursuing James and instead choosing to stay with Callum?

I let out a sigh and leaned back against the daybed’s pillows.

I thought I was being strategic, rigging the system in my favor by accepting Callum’s offer. And yet I was simply more confused than ever. Had I closed myself off to the possibility of a real connection because I was desperate to stay in the villa?

I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about my kiss with James all afternoon. It had been good, the kind of toe-curling, butterfly-inducing kiss that feels rare and special.

But even as the warmth of his lips had lingered against my own, even as I replayed the event in my mind once again as I considered Jess’ question, I knew that James as a match was a wild card. Despite our clear physical connection, I didn’t actually know if he was even interested in me. He had been here for days and, aside from our initial date, had made no real attempt to get to know me.

Ella’s decision during the game to pick him as the biggest player flashed through my mind, clarifying what I had known all along.

There was no safety in him as a match. It was too much of a risk to be with James, despite how tingly he might make me feel.

And besides, the thought of actually choosing to seek out a real romantic connection in the villa was so outrageous that it snapped me out of whatever mental spiral I was teetering on the edge of. I needed to get a grip; I was here for my own reasons, and I needed to remember that.