Page 41 of Paradigm

“Yes, she does. I… I can tell.”

“Then, what I would think about is this – if you have something you need to say about what happened before, or if she does, you do that. You get it out however you need to so that you can move forward. But if you feel like you have to keep focusing on or rehashing the past just because you should, you should leave that feeling alone.”

“I should?”

“Eline, if you think you could love Arlowe again, you should try to move forward, not back. It’s fine to reminisce and think about all those good times you two shared, but don’t let anything hold you back from what you want now. Enjoy each other today, and if she’s the one for you, you go for it. The only thing I would suggest is to remember that there was a reason that it didn’t work out the first time.”

“It wasn’t because we didn’t love each other, Dad. It was because it felt… insurmountable.”

“I know. As your father, though, I had to say that. Your mother and I watched you in that pain, and I never want you to have to go through that again.”

“I don’t want to go through that again, either. There’s something about being young and feeling like you have the whole world on your shoulders that makes finding the woman you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with feel impossible; like it couldn’t be true that it was me for her and her for me and that we’d found each other so soon. We both had so many things we wanted to do before we found that person for ourselves, and those things happened to be in different countries. We agreed to breakup because neither of us could see how to make it work.”

“But you can now?”

“I can see her smile and feel like she hangs the moon for me just like you taught me,” she said, smiling into the phone.

Her father had once told her that he’d known that her mother was the one for him because whenever she smiled at him, it felt like she was hanging the moon just for him, and that Eline should look for that in the person she wanted to be with.

“Well, that is a pretty special thing,” he said.

“She’s pretty special,” Eline replied. “I’ve never stopped loving her. Even when I was with someone else, I… I could never stop loving her.”

“Eline, don’t make things complicated for yourself. Just talk to her. Tell her how you feel. If you can finally be with her, you shouldn’t let anything get in your way this time.”

CHAPTER 13

“You need to figure this out. It’s getting ridiculous,” Arlowe said.

“Shut up,” Violet replied.

“Vi, she’s asking me what’s wrong with you. Stella specifically said you keep asking friends to hang out with the two of you, and then you did it again and invited us to dinner. Not exactly helping your cause there.”

“I need to find a ring, Arlowe. I need to plan the proposal.”

“Well, plan faster. Soon, she’s going to corner all of us and ask if you’re having second thoughts about your relationship or even cheating on her or something.”

“What? I’d never cheat on her,” Violet said before she moved her hands under the hand dryer in the restaurant bathroom.

“Well, she already thinks that something’s up with you. Just saying, it wouldn’t surprise me that she’d go there next.”

“I know. I know…” Violet let the hand dryer finish before she added, “I want it to be perfect, Arlowe. When I ask Stella to marry me, I want it to be perfect. I want her to have the perfect ring, something she’ll remember forever, and–”

“So, you’re just being an idiot, then. Got it.” She shook her head. “Vi, nothing’s ever perfect, and you know that. You work with me, for one.”

Violet laughed at that.

“But if you honestly think that you need some perfect proposal and ring for Stella to remember the moment, you’re being ridiculous. She loves you, so she will remember when you two got engaged as one of the best moments in your relationship. You could even ask her in bed one night, and she’d say yes and probably always remember how your hair looked when she did, or what you were wearing, assuming you wear anything to bed these days. Maybe you two sleep naked; I do not know, and I do not want to know, so don’t tell me. But she’ll remember, and she won’t need it to be perfect.”

“How do you know so much about this, exactly?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I used to think about asking Eline, or what might happen if she asked me. I know nothing else would matter to me. I still remember what she was wearing and how her hair looked the day we met and the day we said goodbye, too. So, I’d remember all of that if she’d asked me to marry her. When you love someone and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, the proposal is part of it, yes, but it’s more that you’re taking that step together, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.”

“So, ask her whenever, but don’t try to make it perfect. Just make it right for the two of you, Vi. Stella will say yes, and then, you’re engaged, and you get to start planning the wedding of your dreams with the girl of your dreams. That’s what it’s all about: just being together and being married. Right?”

Violet nodded and replied, “I know you’re right. I don’t want to make her think something is wrong just because I’m nervous.”