Page 65 of The Square

Then it’s Russell’s turn to glare at him.

Alec doesn’t even notice. He’s already reaching for the door handle on the opposite side of the car.

I slow my steps as Russell’s eyes turn to me. “I don’t know, dude.” I say in way of explanation. “Lars, I guess.”

“I got that part, mate. thanks. But the part I don’t have quite yet is… what the fuck does he think he’s doing?”

“I have no clue,” I say, passing him by. “Just… get them somewhere safe.” But then I turn and add over my shoulder, “And tell that tiny one that I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.”

I don’t know why I say it and I’m pretty sure it was a bad idea. Pretty sure that Uncle Russell isn’t too keen that Uncle Danny has suddenly shown up out of nowhere.

But fuck it.

Alec’s kid, right?

And we’re a team. So…

I just know what it’s like to be left behind without a second thought and I made myself a promise many years ago that I’d never do that to a kid. Ever.

That was the whole reason I took to Christine in the first place. Someone bailed on her just like someone bailed on me and it’s not right.

“I’ll do that,” Russell murmurs.

And when I reach for the door of the limo, I look back at the house. The seemingly perfect happily ever after that Eliza is living here. And I get it. I do.

This is something Christine and I never had but always wanted.

That has to be what’s eating at her. That has to be why she’s acting this way.

I tell myself that as I open the car door to find Christine’s shattered emotions staring up at me.

“Scoot over,” I say, motioning her to take the middle between Alec and me.

But she doesn’t. And that’s how I know I’ve got it all wrong. I’m missing too many pieces. This puzzle hasn’t been solved.

She gets up and takes the seat across from us.

When I get in, we’re a triangle all right. Each of us taking one point in the shape of our love in the back seat of this limo. But it feels wrong in this moment. Feels false. Because there’s more to us now than there was before. A new shape has formed.

Some kind of square that includes Eliza and her daughter.

Three is hard enough to maintain in a relationship. Four… just doesn’t happen. And five?

We’re fucking doomed.

But that’s not it either. Not all of it, anyway.

Christine is not missing her childhood or comparing it to the one Alec’s daughter is living out. She’s not worried about Eliza and Andra coming between us.

It’s something worse.

Something much, much worse.